Thursday, December 4, 2008

"Bor for Prez in '12": Part 10

I've hit double-digits on a topic! Go me!

I'm aching a lot today. The 3rd is that big day of running errands, and the 4th is my day of recovery. Unused muscles are screaming at me today, mostly in my upper body. And here I am, already trying to show the will to serve the people.

This is a BIG question that I ask myself as I write each post, and something I'll likely be asked often down the road. "If I'm disabled, how on Earth am I going to lead a country?" I have good days and bad days, specifically when it comes to my diabetes and its complications. Weakness will strike my hand and I can't grip a pen or hold change with my fingers. Or, when expecting to be on my feet for an extended period of time, I use a cane to get around. The White House isn't as small as my studio apartment...or so I've heard. How will people react when they see their leader leaning heavily on a cane?

I rationalize it this way: I have sought home employment before, and believe I can do it with little or no difficulty. The only thing that has stood in my way has been the Department of Economic Security and their claim that if I earn $120 in a month, my benefits will be cut off completely. I need that extra medical insurance in order to survive. Take that away, and no matter what I earn, it will all go back out to paying doctors or for medications. If I get "The Big Job," I will have medical coverage above and beyond my needs. (Heck, they might put me on a morphine drip to keep me out of pain and stupid so someone else can run the show from the shadows.) Let's just say that it's the biggest home employment one can possibly have.

What's more, my health may actually take a turn for the better while in the White House. The care I'll receive because I'm king of the mountain may well result in me being able to go without any kind of disability benefits for years afterward.

But this is just a perk that comes with the job. It's not why I want the job at all. My health - or the health of any person, for that matter - can change in an instant. John McCain was a sturdy man and in excellent health for someone that had lived 71 years. But who's to say he wouldn't have a stroke or brain embolism out of the blue? Even with the best care on the planet, there are no guarantees.

I've also made it clear that I take heavy-duty medications to deal with pain. Morphine sulfate and Percocet are nowhere near the power, or lack thereof, of an aspirin. Do I seem any less lucid because of them? Are any of my ideas so absurd that someone is sitting back and wondering what planet I'm transmitting from?

I don't think so. If anything, my posts send a message of, "Wow...This guy has a lot to learn about how things work in the Capitol." And it's true. I have yet to say otherwise. There is a reason why political science is a degree one can earn in collage. It's a big, scary machine that would overwhelm a lot of people, even those educated in the details. I have a lot to learn, and I am making the effort, a little at a time, to do so.

For example, I have a plan for November 2012. How do I get on the ballot for President without requiring a ton of money? Well, the answer is that it's basically impossible if I'm not cooperating with one of the established parties. In Anyone Can, one of his friends comments that Gary Leiberman is a "conservative liberal." Gary, if it's not yet obvious, is a strong representation of me. I think in terms of "black and white, with no grey areas." So I don't think I'd work well with Republicans or Democrats alone. If there were "Republocrats" or "Demoblicans," I'd be able to join one of them. Since neither exists, I'll have to go it alone. And I've already looked up that which is required to get this done, with only the cost of a stamp to mail it in.

Yes, folks...I'm starting to take this seriously.

But I'm just starting to do so. Obama campaigned on "Change we can believe in." Okay...I'll give him a chance to make those changes. Alas, I don't think he's going to be helping the common man as much as we'd like. Maybe he's as pure of heart as the press makes him out to be, and he has as many ideas as I do. Then again, the political machine may grind him up and spit him out, as he gets caught up in "party over the people."

No chance of that happening with me. I'm standing in the middle and looking at both sides, asking, "Are you people insane?" I'm still black and white on the issues. I see the good and bad on both sides. I can't help but wonder why they can't take the good ideas from both sides and make things work for their employers, the American people. Put down your radical left and right wing broadswords, stop fighting each other, and learn to work together.

It has been suggested that I get a Presidential Cabinet position as "Ambassador to the People." I can't help but wonder if such a thing is possible. Would Obama be open to such an idea? What should I ask for as a salary? I imagine the medical benefits would kick in immediately, so I'm not worried about that. And to what benefit would I really be to the President Elect?

Well, I'm already one of the little people. I wouldn't want to change that too dramatically. A government job that pays me above and beyond a common denominator would likely put me out of touch with the American people. According to my little search on the web, a Level 5 administrator earns $139,600 a year. That's over $11,000 a month! As much as I would absolutely love to have that kind of income thrown at me, the average American doesn't earn that much. What's say we knock that 1 off the front, and pay me $39,600? That's $3,300 a month, which is pretty good for a guy living alone with his cat.

Ugh! This would involve an irritating move to Washington D.C. Oh well. It's the cost of serving the people.

My responsibilities? Well, I'm the guy people would write to in order to speak of their concerns. No complicated policy replies from me. Reasonable content will be filtered through me and brought to the attention of the President. And, yes...I would want this position to involve an hour-long meeting twice a month with The Man, himself. What good is having an Ambassador that can't speak to the man in charge? Give me access to The Man, and the ability to share the ideas that come from me and Joe Average, and the job would be completely worth the move the D.C.

And what would I do to earn my pay? Play City of Heroes, of course. I'm better off fighting crime as a superhero than being involved in politics.

Ummm...That is...Uhhh...

Seriously, I would be at home bust my butt for eight hours a day, reading and reply to this that write in with their hopes, dreams, concerns, complaints, and ideas. Sure, the President has an entire staff fielding e-mails and snail mail to him. And what do they get in return? A form letter. "Thank you for your concern over this matter. Rest assured, the President is working on blah, blah, blah." Mine would be a position that actually has the ear of the President for at least twice a month. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think I'd be infinitely more approachable than Omaba.

*sigh* I'm dreaming. This probably will never happen. But let's say it does. Here, then, is an imaginary letter that I might receive:

Dear Mr. Meadows,

Despite what appears in the news, and the changes Mr. Obama has brought to Washington, my family is still struggling to get by. My wife and I are both working to keep us afloat, and our two kids are in public school. Because we are both working, we need to pay for childcare after school, which is just one of the many things putting a dent in our wallets. Sales tax on our needs, as well as federal and state income taxes are also killing us.

If you could get a message to the President, I would appreciate it. Let him know that we, the little people far down the financial ladder, are still struggling. Please let me know if there is anything being done to help us little people.

Sincerely,
Joe Average

Well, as Ambassador to the People, it would be my job to reply. With such a basic complaint, I might be able to reply en masse, especially online. But if it's snail mail...

Dear Joe,

Few if any people take the time to bring their concerns directly to what they believe is the source of their woes. You can be assured that I will be bringing up the topic of tax relief to the President, with the idea that some officials are being paid entirely too much for their jobs. I, myself, when taking this position, made sure that my income remained low enough to still say I'm not one of the big wheels in government. I am also disabled, which is a daily reminder of the struggles of the average American. Your cries have not fallen on deaf ears.

You must understand, however, that I am in no position to write policy, and do not speak for the President. All I can do is promise to bring this to his attention. If you, yourself, have any ideas on what would help your situation, I invite you to write back with your solution. I am here to share the ideas of the people with The Big Man. The only thing you cannot ask for is the impossible. For example: large sacks of money will not be delivered to your home.

For further, immediate aid, try to access the web site of my office, which has a search engine that will access various charities in your area that can help with food and clothing for your family. If you cannot access the web, a self-addressed stamped envelope is enclosed for you to reply that you are unable to do so, and I will send you a list of resources myself.

Sincerely,
Rob Meadows

Let us not forget the numerous e-mails that will be..."special."

Dear Mr. Meadows

The Cosmic Circus of Doom is coming our way, and I just know they're going to abduct me again. I need government protection, and I need it now. Please tell the President to send the army to save me.

Signed,
Scared of Being Probed Again

*sigh* I'm probably going to get a lot of these. And my response?

Dear Morbid Wombat...

Note: While editing this post, I noticed a lot of my sentences started with a conjunction. It seems I couldn't stop myself on this one, folks. Stream of conscious writing will do that. We all do it. Or don't we?

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