Friday, May 29, 2009

OMG! WTF? This suxxorz!

Yesterday was my follow-up visit with the doctor that wanted to keep an eye on the infection in my left big toe, Dr. R. If you recall, I was able to communicate rather nicely with Dr. R. Unfortunately, he wasn't in, and so I ended up with Dr. G, the one who barely listens to a word I have to say.

So much for the lengthy list of things I was going to discuss with my doctor.

Dr. G opened the visit by flashing a letter in front of me...a letter that I was barely able to comprehend before he took it away to put back in my medical file. The gist of it is that I am now under scrutiny for being on so many powerful narcotics to cope with my pain. That my percocets last longer than prescribed, and that I never have to fill my morphine early doesn't seem to be part of the equation. So right at the start, I'm made to feel like I'm a would-be villain because I'm chronically ill. Dr. G then dismisses the entire thing, saying that he has patients with similar letters, and those patients have even longer lists of medications than I do. This news did not make me feel any better.

Next, I tell the doc that something is going on in my right ear. No, he won't have to look far. You see, after a shower, I carefully take a Q-Tip and dry my inner and outer ear. I have a very good reason for this. Leaving the moisture there has, in the past, resulted in ear infections so serious that, while I was still living in NY, my father would have to rush me to an emergency room to have it treated. These infections were so bad that all I'd be able to do was sit and cry. Once I'd connected the dots and realized that water was to blame, I made it my business to make sure my ears were kept dry. Recently, while taking care of this little task, the Q-Tips have been going in clean, and coming out bloody.

Seems I've been a little too good at my job, and the dry skin that seems to come along with living in AZ and having brittle diabetes has resulted in an infected sore. It's not deep inside my ear, but it's in a spot not easily seen in a mirror. Thankfully, I'd already been using Silvadene. He gave me a new prescription for it, and said to continue using it to care for the wound.

Then he refilled various prescriptions that have come due. Thanks to that lovely notice, I said, "My percocet will run out next week. You can refill it now, while I'm here, or we can waste more appointment time next week when I'll be officially out." He wrote it then and there. Added to the list was a prescription for Zoloft, which I've been off of a few days. It's a bit of a story, but it boils down to my mental health case manager making morning appointments to see a psychiatrist, usually at a time when I'm still incapable of moving properly. I have another appointment coming up, in the afternoon, thank goodness, and Dr. G wrote enough pills to get me through until then.

Finally, we dealt with my concern of my Charcot's foot. How do we monitor it? Who should I be seeing to do so? He said he would get me a referral to a podiatrist. I asked, "Are you sure this isn't under the purview of an orthopedic specialist, especially when my aches are in various joints body-wide?" My question was dismissed, basically as a silly idea, and said he would be sure to renew the referral to my old podiatrist.

Right. Off I went to the bank next to the doctor's office. I had several prescriptions to fill, as well as a few to refill. My rough calculations told me I'd need approximately $16. I also knew I had virtually no food back home, so I'd need to do a little food shopping on the way back. Rather than blindly use my debit card, I wanted to check my balance. You can imagine how floored I was when I saw I only had $4.43.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ALL OF MY MONEY?!? I mean, I mentioned that Social Security gave me an extra $250 this month. "Extra" meaning that I should be okay for the month without having to do any begging and pleading. And I seem to have done so well, too. None of my posts this month had me dropping to my virtual knees and asking for help. I'd been a good boy!

I suddenly found myself running through my spending this month. What had I done out of the ordinary that would have me staring an an empty wallet and a virtually empty bank account? Well, I did go a little crazy with my spending. I mean, all those sweat stains on my tee shirts were a bit embarrassing, and Wal-Mart had plain tee shirts on sale for all of $4.50 each, so I bought five shirts. (Get crazy!) There was a recent release of City of Heroes of a costume pack that came with some new emotes and some nifty powers. I blew $10 on a treat for myself. (Mind you, I was tempted to buy five more character slots for my account and use them on what is now my home server, but I deemed the cost of $20 a waste of money.) I also ate fairly well this month; I was able to get away without taking severe shortcuts on my diabetic diet as I usually do. In fact, in an act of utter lunacy, I blew around $4.00 on a 12-pack of diet root beer. (I tell ya, I'm living on the edge!) My grand total in bonus spending: approximately $35. That's it.

Apparently, what I didn't do was keep an eye on my bank account. Somehow, I'd managed to convince myself that the "extra" $250 represented more money than it actually was. Now, when I am in the most dire need of that money, it's all gone. I didn't even go crazy with the money! Thus, I find myself in a genuine "WTF moment."

Well, all is not completely lost. I spoke with the manager at my pharmacy and explained that my finances were in dire shape. He said he would let me slide until 3 June, and fill those prescriptions. At my behest, he will also throw in a box of alcohol swabs, which I need to take my insulin. As for my other needs...Well, I suppose prayer might work. Between what I have in my checking account and a bowl full of pennies, I hay be able to muster enough for some very basic sandwich makings. Odds are excellent I'll be thoroughly fed up with peanut butter come the 3rd of next month, but I need to be eating something.

Once again, I have created a post that makes is dangerous to ask me, "How are you?" I'm off my psych meds, I have no money, I have no food, and I'm an emotional wreck due to all of the above. As I've said before, I need more friends that are millionaires. =/

No comments: