Monday, July 20, 2009

Common Sense & Desire

My plea for aid still stands. One person commented on my last post that he's "working" on something, and another had to be turned down due to his age. I have $0.45 in my checking account, and $0.36 in change in my pockets. I can't exactly say I don't have a penny to my name...but 81 cents is as close to nothing as a person can get.

On the financial front, I'm looking forward to my move to TN. The way I see it, I will see reductions in...

1. My rent. Stu and I have already agreed on $350 for rent. I get around $800 per month, and my current rent is $464. A $114 reduction in rent is a good thing.
2. Paying for my food. With the exception of some items that will help me conform to my diabetic diet, I won't have to pay extra for food. Part of my rent is already considered my contribution to the family food fund.
3. Stu is trying to figure out how to get my computer online so that I don't have to be added to the list of people using his computer. Whatever the addition is, it shouldn't cost as much as using my DSL.
4. No phone bill. Again, part of my rent will go toward whatever phone service Stu already has.
5. No money tossed away for doing laundry. Stu has a washer and dryer at his house.

These seemingly small reductions in what I'm paying now will add up...or so I hope. And this will make room for me to do what I've been wanting to do for some time...again, I hope.

Things like getting gifts for those who've helped me out over the last few years. I existed under the illusion that I would be able to live on my SSD here in AZ. But I was stunned at several things upon my arrival here. For one thing, taxes seemed to have taken a 3% increase while I was in NY. There's also the fact that the mental health services here are severely lacking, as opposed to what was available in NY. NY also had a wider range of services when it came to welfare. Still, NY was entirely too expensive in every regard, and I couldn't go on living there once I started receiving SSD.

There's also the grand mystery of what the State of TN will have to offer me. I'll need secondary insurance. Will they have the services I need? Or will I find myself in another financial bind because they'll claim I make too much money. (That's always a laughable statement; I heat it here in AZ, and yet I live beneath poverty level!)

I don't know what the future holds, but it would be nice to look at my finances at the end of the month and see what kind of money I have left over. Take half of that amount, whatever it may be, and start paying back the people who have come forward over the years. There are some whom it will be impossible to complete such a task. They have been there so often that the numbers are simply too large for me to get it done. I imagine there will also be several who will tell me to do no such thing. Whatever the case may be, the thought is in my heart and mind.

Oh...And I look forward to being able to afford some of the "toys" I want that will make my hours filled with nothing more enjoyable. Like City of Heroes. My current game time was purchased by a GitP friend during the holidays. He bought six months, which happened to come with a bonus month. Seven months of game play! That game time is almost up, and so I will have to be without my beloved, favorite game until I get to TN (unless someone comes forward and says, "Here, Rob...Have three months to get you through until you reach TN! Oh...and as a bonus, I've purchased you the "superscience booster pack!" (*GLEE!*)

But common sense dictates that I be a good boy and spend nothing extra right now. Until October rolls around, I'm going to be stuck living this extremely meager lifestyle, just as I've been for the last four years. (That's around the time my back pay from SSD ran out.)

Now, I have 14 followers at this time. Some are under the age of 18, and are therefore not permitted to send me aid. I won't allow it. I also recognize that most people these days can't afford to send me hundreds of dollars. (Yes...I still need more millionaire friends.) But if those who could afford it would all send $10 to $20 each month until my move, that would be astounding. A little from the many is easier to ask for than a lot from the few.

Yeah...I'm pleading now.

Oh...I, ummm...I have a problem brewing for September. As long as Arguskos is able to come through with his plan to pick up Nike and many of the items I can live without, the only thing I'll need to ship is my computer. No one in my family is coming forward with an offer to make sure it gets to TN. I don't know what it will cost, and I'm certainly going to need to insure it. Five years ago, I bought this baby for around $2,200. (I had all that back pay from SSD, remember?) Thus, I'm going to want to insure it for around that much sure something happen to it during shipping.

I would like to make note of something I've said before. When I receive help, I speak up about it. I'm not the kind of guy who starts receiving help, and keeps his mouth shut as the money keeps rolling in. I only ask for what I NEED, not what I WANT. The best example in March, when $175 landed in my lap after one of my begging sessions. I immediately posted to say, "STOP! I have enough for the moment." I'm actually proud of that, and I'm not one to have much pride at all. And I'm proud of it because I believe it's the difference between me and a con artist. A con man would take money from anyone willing to give, and certainly wouldn't speak up one he had enough. A con man never has enough.

What's more, I see these gifts as people showing their love and caring. "A friend is in need; I will help that friend!" Ultimately, I'd rather someone come along and say, "Rob, I have a job for you, and I'm willing to pay you off the books so as not to make a mess of your life." Then again, people seem to think all my counseling on GitP IS my job.

*sigh* I dunno. I'm babbling. I'm babbling because I'm panicking. My panicking has caused a blood vessel in my right eye to burst, and I not have a large, black spot drifting through my vision. The black spot drifting through my vision has me panicking. My panicking may cause another blood vessel in my eye to burst...

I think you get the idea.

I have to get ready to visit my podiatrist. If there's news worth reporting, I'll be back with another post. But...Well, it's starting as I bring this post to a close. I'm beginning to cry. I hate being where I am in the scheme of things, and I hope my move to TN brings me to a better place...a place where I can apply improved common sense, and fulfill some of my desires.


Arguskos said...

Well, I sent you a PM on GitP about your computer, so that's alright.

However, I noted you haven't let us know about your trip to the podiatrist. Everything alright?


Valiant Turtle said...

If there is much difference in the price I wouldn't insure the computer for more than $1000 at the most. I guarantee I can (and would) build you a computer for that price that will knock the socks off the old one.

I would recommend backing up all your important data and keeping it with you. The data is far more important than the computer. Burning everything to CD or DVD should be adequate if you have the capability. If not let us know. I'm sure we can come up with more creative solutions if necessary.

evan said...

I've been bedridden for several days, and am now convincing my dad to let me send you money. He is not easily convinced, particularly in these times, but I will not stop until I have convinced him. I'm going upstairs now to talk to him.