Thursday, July 2, 2009

Some realities...

Okay...Some comments I received on my last post deserve an entire post in order to reply. Valiant Turtle and Zeb have made some good points. So we'll start with TVT...

I've actually been thinking ever since you mentioned moving out of your Apartment Complex that what you really need is a roommate of some kind. Having the right roommate can ease the financial strain and just help with making it through life. Unfortunately the wrong roommate won't help much at all.

There are multiple problems with the concept of a roommate. First is that gaining a roommate is a roll of the dice. For all the talking done during a negotiation of sharing an apartment, you only truly learn what kind of person you're moving in with once the move is complete. You must remember that I've lived in a boarding house, and in that first one was where I gained PTSD. I like peace, and I like solitude. Unless it was a member of GitP, I honestly doubt I'd be able to exist under the same roof with a roommate.

Which brings us to Stu and his family. They are the wrong kind of roommates, right out the gate. Stu is unemployed, so his wife can't wait to get some financial support. Her niece is, as I understand it, an idiot of astounding proportion. Mind you, I met this young "woman" when Stu was sick. They all came by to visit him, and Kristie practically ignored Stu, sitting in a corner and watching a video on a portable DVD player with headphones on. By ignoring my brother, and me as well, I personally wanted to slap her. My brother almost died, and was still on oxygen to breathe, and she was concerned about being entertained. My nephew seems to throw a fit every time I'm on the phone with Stu. And Stu, himself, seems apathetic to my needs.

Whomever I share a roof with needs to understand that I have BIG issues, and if they can't accept that, then no matter whom I move in with, I will be unhappy.


Okay...On to Zeb...

A few things that stand out at me over the last three entries are;

1) Money. You're not sure that you'll be able to even have the same standard of living. According to, the cost of living in Knoxville is ~25% lower than Phoenix.

2.) Weather. You're going to spend the majority of your time indoors where AC and heat should keep you comfortable. In many of your other posts you mention the unlivability of the heat in AZ. I think you'll find TN a bit more moderate but certainly not the type of clime to be concerned overly about.

3.) Stuff. It'll almost certainly be cheaper to rent a small Uhaul or car and trailer and take everything with you than to ship just your TV, let alone ship that thing and a computer and then repurchase more later (the Uhaul site quotes ~$1200, but that is based on 8 days of driving only 275 miles per day). TV's, computers, and monitors are heavy and difficult to pack safely and, in my experience the cost to ship is more than the value of the item. I'm not even sure the USPS or FedEx will let you do it because of the weight.

4.) People. While they may not be perfect people, in TN you will have people who will have your best interests in mind, even if grudgingly at times. Isn't that infinitely better than having no one around who gives a rat's ass, even grudgingly, as you seem to have now?

It seems to me that the Pro's here far outweigh the Con's. Or, at the very least, the Con's for Knoxville are fewer than the Con's for Phoenix.

I understand your hesitance and anxiety over the move, but don't let your uncertainty stop you from making a change that will most likely better your current lot in life.

1. I'm not all that worried about the money. I know moving into Stu's house alone would be financially better, especially when the $350 he wants to charge in rent is more than $100 less than what I'm paying now, and includes utilities and "most" of the food. It'll be a BIG change from how I'm living now.

2. Ummm...Stu keeps the AC in his house at 83 degrees F, meaning that it's a perfect place for me to shed some of those pesky pounds I've put on via sweating profusely. I'll definitely need an fan to stay cool. And what I fear more than the heat is the cold. I'm going to HURT!

3. Renting a Uhaul to move my stuff won't work. Stu isn't allowed to do that kind of lifting, and I simply can't. What's more, there's nowhere to keep any of the big stuff at Stu's. The desk, futon, and couch have to go.

Another issue is that Stu is needed at home. His utterly insane wife is not only working, but going to school to become a nurse. He would need to come all the way here...somehow..., and then do all of the driving back. We won't be able to stay at a motel because it will be beyond any finances we can muster, and it'll take about two or three days to drive back. It's too much for him to handle.

In terms of shipping my stuff, we're looking at a 27" TV, my computer, flat screen for the computer, and what few accessories for said computer. (My printer is incredibly dead, so that's that.) I would also like to ship my vacuum, as it was a gift from a dear friend, but not sure if I'll be able to find a proper box for it. (It arrived in a box that was falling apart, and therefore ended up in the trash.)

There's the sense that my father will help ship what little I plan on sending to TN, so it's a matter of deciding exactly what goes.

4. Yeah...I'll have people there who "give a rat's ass." At least, they'll TRY to give the tuchas of a rodent to me...or something like that. I look forward to being closer to some of my GitP friends more than I do my brother.

What's becoming a growing problem is that this move is looking to be impossible for Nike. I remain unsure of how I'm going to get her there, and once in Stu's house, she's to be confined to my room. That's not fair to her, and she's likely going to drive people insane if those are the condition she has to live under. I mean, she'll sit at the open window of my current apartment and mewl loudly if I just leave to check the mail. Imagine how she'll react if she knows I'm outside my room, so much as using the bathroom, and unable to get to me. She needs room to roam, and she'll want human company. Thus, I am suffering a growing depression over the fact that I'm going to have to give her up, because there's some delusional concept out there that my declawed, fixed cat will destroy Stu's house.

And that's where my head is at for the moment. I just tried calling Stu, and he let my call go to voice mail. Guess he's still mad at me for the last call. Oh, well...He's going to have to start getting used to the idea that I have issues. If not, he's going to have a terrible time living with me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

There's definitely a lot of good and bad in this move, no doubt. It will clearly be much better financially, and I'm hoping Stu has a washer and dryer so you won't have to worry about a repeat clothes loss.

I do worry about how well you're going to get along with everyone there. It sounds like it's going to be tough. I will say that it's possible that at the Hospital your niece had just blown a gasket over
Stu being in the hospital and that was her particular escape. I could definitely be wrong though. I wasn't there to see her emotional state and you were.

I'm thinking you should push as much as you are comfortable to bring Nike without any restrictions. You need somebody in the house who's a real friend. You'll probably have to give them permission to restrict her to your room if she causes real damage. If there are actual cat allergies however, that becomes more problematic.