Saturday, March 20, 2010

It's about sharing...

So, I have a new friend in my life. She lives a few hundred miles away, maybe even upward of a thousand. We've started talking on the phone, and the "REALLY getting to know you phase" has begun. Because she now has this blog address, I will keep her from blushing furiously by simply calling her Neko.

Until several months ago, she was engaged. Her ex proved to be a selfish idiot, as have her other exes of the past, so she gave up and moved back home with her family.

How Neko and I got on the phone all begins with the fact that I'm male, and any woman who demonstrates even the slightest inclination towards any kind of sex is going to have my attention. Folks, it's been a LONG time. There have been a few failed attempts at the deed, but they were thoroughly unsuccessful. One of those attempts was apparently trying to do an impression of a cadaver, as she just laid there, seemingly deaf to my every word. =/ It all boils down to the fact that there's been no one to do such things with since Robin left me, and we'd become somewhat inactive over the last year.

Neko and I, however, have been doing a lot of flirting since she officially became single. Much more flirting than when she was spoken for, to which I was the one pressing the issue now and again that the conversations were becoming inappropriate. We managed to exchange phone numbers, but neither one was calling the other, probably because of an imagined expectation of adult activities. (Not sure if I ever made the joke with her, but I once said to someone else, "Sure, I've had sex on the phone before. It hurts, and usually leaves an impression against my back...but I've had phone sex." =P )

There's a comedian out there, Gallagher, and during one of his routines, he said, "The moment a woman shows the slightest inclination towards sex, the guy has his pants around his ankles, asking, 'You wanna?' *jerks a thumb over his shoulder* 'It's a commercial!'" That explains a great deal about men, and part of the driving force behind my willingness to finally call Neko. We discussed it online first, and the call was made...

..and there was A LOT of talking. Hours and hours of talking. I pointed her toward this blog, telling her that if she wants to get to know a lot more about me, she can come here to read. But even that doesn't cover all of my life. There's lots to be discussed, especially that which I haven't put in this blog. There are subjects that I don't bring up because, as said before, I'm at least trying to keep this blog PG-13 at the most. On the phone, I can delve into that which is rated R, and if the course of the conversation goes that way, even rated X.

Males and females getting to know one another...Well, it seems to be the habit of many to move the conversation toward the bedroom. Neko and I do it every now and again, and what I've learned is that those who have taken her to bed with them are IDIOTS! The woman seems to have had no fun in the bedroom...ever! I went as far as to compare it to Orthodox Jews, who make every attempt to have no pleasure during the act of sex. They will go as far as to do it through a sheet with a hole cut in the center, because sex is for breeding ONLY, not for fun.

This poor woman...sexually and emotionally, there hasn't been a man in her life who as treated her like a goddess. If there are any men reading this, I'll tell you right now that the best way to get and keep a woman's attention is to treat her as such. Relationships are 50-50. If it's all about you, with very little being about her, you're doing something wrong.

Of course, I'm not really the one to come to for romantic advice. I'm single for a reason. Even if I were to develop something with Neko, which I doubt, it wouldn't last anyway. There's too much wrong with the body I currently occupy.

Just the same, it's about sharing. And so I have been trying to allow Neko to do just that. She gets to share with me, and I share with her. And if something comes of this, good for us. If nothing comes of it, and we simply become good friends...also good for us. Oh, I'm interested...but her life is in transition at the moment, and I have never been one to truly force such issues. Although...

Well, it doesn't really count because I was already dating the girl I have in mind. This was back in my teens, and I was dating a lovely lass named Serena. Shy and quiet, she was never one to cause any kind of trouble...until another guy began to make the moves on her. She discussed this with me, and told me that she wasn't sure where she stood on the entire thing. Thus, I said something along the lines of, "I see. Well, here's how I'll handle it. I'm going to give you three days to decide which of us you want to date. I won't call you. I'll leave you to your thoughts. And after three days, I'll be asking you to decide if it's me or him." Mind you, I was taking a HUGE chance here. I was basically telling her that I, her current boyfriend, would back off and let her choose between me and my competitor. This would allow him to swoop in and try to officially take her from me, or for her to have a fling before coming back to me...

But it all worked out in my favor. As crazy as it was making me, I didn't call for three days, while he was on the phone daily, pleading with her to choose him over me. In other words, he became a pest, while I remained a man of my word.

Alas, I was in the prime of my "jackass years," in which I was, as she is now officially quoted as having written, "rude, insulting, loud, and obnoxious." In the same letter, Serena said I was "warm, caring, affectionate, and extremely understanding." During the conversation that followed, in which we broke up, I told her that her choice of descriptors were conflicting. She agreed...but told me they all fit.

That was the only time I ever forced a relationship issue as such, and I didn't really force it. I was young, and believed that the world was still full of women for me to experience. I hurt when Serena broke up with me, but I was able to move on rather smoothly.

As for Neko...? As I said, I'm interested. She seems to be mildly interested as well. But she's not actually looking for a lasting relationship, so I will sit and bide my time. Should we end up together...Well, that's be nice. And when/if that happens, I'll be sure to listen - not hear, but LISTEN - to what she says about the other men in her past, and be sure to avoid their moronic mistakes at all costs!

Or so I hope. Once again, I'm a guy. We have great potential to be idiots. And in the meantime, I'll do my best to keep sharing what Neko will allow me to share. Because that, my friends, is what it's all about.

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