Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Wait...Good news?!?

Yes, I actually come to you with good news. Mind you, the pessimist in me is shouting that good news only means disaster is waiting around the corner, but I've been trying to keep that particular voice drowned out.

First of all, I went for a followup visit for the wound care on Monday. The first good sign was that I'd dropped five pounds in almost as many days. This is probably due to my lack of appetite since my foot became infected, but I'll take it. It's the first time I've been under 190 lbs. in a long time.

Next came the examination with the CWCN, whom I may also call "Gina" every now and again. The lighting at home often had me wondering exactly how bad this thing was getting. I was experiencing pain in the area, which wasn't happening before, and I could've sworn the redness was spreading out further from the holes in my skin. Again, lighting makes all the difference, as does perspective. Being unable to change my view in any way made it difficult to properly examine the wounds.

Gina, however, was ecstatic. Her face lit up with a smile as she started raving how great the wounds looked. She proceeded to wash them, and then went through he routine of measuring them and taking pictures. She was absolutely floored that the older wound had healed an astonishing 50%! Let me clarify...The older wound, which was still a significant worry, had healed 50% in approximately FOUR DAYS! The other wound had also closed a bit, and was certainly not looking as pus-filled as it had been before. When a measurement of my ankle was done, I was told the swelling had gone down my two centimeters.

Now, I've had a hard time healing such wounds in the past. Part of the problem is the fact that I was told to use 1% silver sulfadiazine cream on such things. This topical antibiotic is often used on severe burns, and helps to keep the skin moist. Well, skin that's kept perpetually moist doesn't heal all that quickly, especially when it's NOT a burn, so the cream was aiding in producing a reduced healing rate. Because I was skeptical that things were looking so good, the CWCN showed me the before and after pictures. "Pic or it didn't happen"? Well, it was happening.

Not only was the alternative care aiding in the healing, but we learned that I'd been taking the perfect antibiotic for the infection. The second wound, as I was still overlooking the first because I thought it was healed, was cultured while I was at the ER. The results were in, and one of the antibiotics I was taking turned out to be the right one to combat the problem. I was told I could stop taking the other, as it wasn't really doing anything, and sent home, with a followup happening again next Monday.

It occurred to me, however, that there could well be one other factor that was adding to my healing: NEKO! Yes, my sweet Neko has remained a daily event, with us chatting for hours on end. (We recently realized that Skype could add an entirely new dimension to our chats, so we've been doing that.) The main thing is that when I talk to her, I'm all smiles. I feel good about many things, including myself. This means that I'm likely receiving a hefty dose of endorphins as we chat, and those happy little hormones aid in healing.

Another thing about Neko is that...Well, there was a time when we'd chat and I'd tease her about "when we meet." Somewhere along the way, "if" turned into "when." Lately when we chat, it's been turning more and more into a likely reality.

"Wait a minute, Rob. You're not going to the GitP meet-up because you need to save money for a new mouth, remember?" Oh, believe me, I haven't forgotten this little nugget of info. The thing is, if I forgo a month of saving, and she helps me with the finances of visiting her, as she has absolutely insisted on doing, then I'll actually have no worries. A train ride from here to there is $170, and my plan is to save $175 a month. Give up one month, and I get to finally meet the woman I...

Oh, wait. That's right. We're not saying that word yet. You know...the L word. (No relation to the show.)

But let me ask my audience what they think. When we chat, she calls me "her Rob," and she's "my Neko." (Yes, I call her by both her real name and nickname when speaking in that romantic possessive, and I am sometimes "her Noun," based on my CoX character.) We have the capacity to set the butterflies swirling in our stomachs, as well as get our hearts pumping faster with just a few words. She has wondered aloud several times why she's even bothering to go to Puerto Rico. She once feared that things wouldn't work out romantically on her trip, and now she's almost afraid they will. We fight desperately not to paint images of the future, but manage to do so anyway. My perspective of her has change, so that she is no longer pretty, but beautiful. Of late, when we get on Skype, we can chat for six hours straight and still want to chat when we should be saying goodnight. So you tell me, (and her, since she reads this blog)...Do you think we're in l-l-l-l-l...in l-l-l-l-l...Do you think we've already fallen for one another?

You know what else? I've gone through my usual routine of forewarning someone I'm interested in, telling her the grand list of things that's wrong with me. Not only has she not run screaming from me, but has even said that when she finally gets her degree in nursing that she'll be able to take care of me! Dear G-d, what did I do right that I would find a fantastic woman like her?!?

Amazingly, I'm still trying to stay guarded. Having had so many romances go sour on me in an instant, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I have grown attached to her. I feel more complete with her in my life. I spend part of my time trying to quell the feeling that all of this will turn to crap in mere moments, and the rest of of my time basking in the glorious feeling she inspires in me.

I'll try to keep you all posted on when she realizes the mistake she's made and runs screaming from my life...but here's hoping that day never comes.

1 comment:

Zeb The Troll said...

Oh, the "L" word.

I know how you feel Rob, I really do. After years of feeling relegated to singledom in perpetuity, someone comes along that makes you feel good. But there's that caveat that you've still not met in person. You've not spent even a single day together to see how you'd get along face to face.

I don't want to be a downer here, Rob, but I'm going to have to advise against going down the "L" road just yet. Off the top of my head I can name too many couples that were "in love" distantly but when the eventual meeting came, the spark didn't.

Now, I said I didn't want to be a downer and I meant it. I'm not at all trying to say all hope is lost, just give up, you're crazy. I'm absolutely saying enjoy what you've got going right now, take a chance, and see where it leads. After all, I can name more than one couple that had this sort of relationship work out beautifully, too. 8-D

Do yourself a favor, though, and hold that "L" in reserve until you've had more time sharing personal space. There're plenty of ways of expressing affection without dragging out this potential boat anchor.