Tuesday, May 25, 2010

TV with Cody

Cody...He's about six feet tall, around 230 lbs., and...Well, the ongoing joke I have is that he could be the subject of one of those DEmotivational posters. Just a photo of him glaring at the camera with the slogan, "Cody is LOVE!" beneath it. He is a thorough believer that ALL humans are stupid and should be destroyed like the virus they are. Or something like that.

There's a bit more going on in his head than the "simple redneck" facade he puts on. I mean, the guy can claim he's a redneck one minute, then slap together a computer in less than an hour. He's well-read and is heavily into anime. If he IS a redneck, he's not the typical variety.

While Becky was here, we went to pay a visit to Wyatt at the store he manages. There, for all the world to see, was a copy of House, season 1, for $6.99. The price was an error, but Wyatt runs his shop with a high degree of honor. The customer sees an incorrect price? Well, it was the staff's mistake, and they'll be the ones to pay for it. Meanwhile, the customer gets the product at the extreme discount. In my case, I saved about $16!

I had little to do this evening, so I decided to settle in and start working my way through disc two. Since Cody had expressed an interest earlier, and Ray was out, I invited him to join me.

It's not the running commentary as when others are around. Just Cody and I throwing out the occasional comment about what's on screen. Even the worst episodes of House are so well-written than one is compelled to watch, hence his reaction when the episode "Histories" started.

Cody: (word-for-word) If this episode is about some crazy homeless woman, I'm going back to my room for a bit.
Character on show: (not exact) Patient is a homeless woman...

We didn't quite catch the rest because we were laughing at the...unique...timing of the line.

Yet Cody couldn't wander off as he said he would. "Good writing will glue me to my seat," I told him, and it held true, even for the "crazy homeless woman." What's more, I believe Cody thoroughly enjoyed every acerbic witticism that flew from Hugh Laurie's mouth. During one episode, House distracts a judge by simply making a comment about the judge's hands, which then preoccupies the judge. Cody's comment on the manipulation was, "He's a mind-ninja!"

Also a lot of fun was his reactions to medical procedures. Cody hates, HATES, HATES needles. Stab him. Shoot him. He's okay. Come at him with a sliver of stainless steel at the tip of a syringe, and he'll pretty much let you do as you please, just as long as you keep it away from him. So when a patient had to have some of the fluid from his eye drained via needle...Well, Cody threw his shirt over his face, along with his hands, and refused to uncover his eyes until the next scene started. (I then tried to get him to squirm by taking some insulin in via my stomach, but he remained unaffected. Maybe I should have played "Catch a Needle" with him again?)

Other significant events while watching House...

Patient starts to suffer a seizure. (No shock there; there was still plenty of time left in the episode, and their filler seems to be a seizure.) "Diazepam! IV! Stat!" I said. A split-second later, one of the doctors was calling for exactly that drug, calling out an IV dosage. Cody just looked at me and something to the effect of, "Well, we now know Rob has taken too many drugs."

I commented on how the show will take the simplest of illnesses and show the rarest symptoms, blowing them up into part of the drama that makes the show interesting. As an example, I spoke about I once saw an episode of how House and his team screwed up, killing a patient via a simple staph infection caused by a nick made by a bra hook. The talk of the destruction of the body's immune system had Cody dreaming of "an AIDS bomb," with which he could hopefully wipe out humanity. ("Cody is LOVE!")

In the episode "Detox," House receives a massage from a positively gorgeous woman. The way it was set up, the woman just shows up, relaxes the deep muscles in his hand, and, with his mind changed from "no massage" to "rub me wherever you want," she says, "Take off your clothes." This had Cody and I wishing random, gorgeous women would approach us with such a proposition. (I'm spoken for, not dead!)

A grand nitpick from me. You see, I watched some of the special features, mostly hoping to watch for bloopers, and there was a feature on the realism of the show. Supposedly, they wanted to be as accurate as possible. But when one patient suffered an uncontrolled heart rate, two things came from the doctors. First, the claim that the patient's potassium levels were up. Ummm...How would they know? The guy was hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor, neither of which measures potassium.

I can let that one go, however. Much of the show is great guesswork on the part of the staff. But when another doctor in the same scene cried out, "Ten units of insulin, sub-q, stat," I sat up and said, "What?!?" In fact, any insulin dependent diabetic who understands the illness would instantly know that some writer thought to throw something in there that sounded interesting, but didn't make any sense...AT ALL!

First, insulin is a hormone that allows blood cells to open up and allow sugar to be carried where it's needed. There was never any mention of the patient being diabetic, so he had no need of the stuff as far as I knew. Next...what kind of insulin? At this moment in time, I have three different types sitting in front of me. Lantus, Humalog, and Novolin R. All of which are U-100, meaning that they are pure solutions, without dilution or alternating strengths. Then there was the "sub-q, stat!" "Sub-q" is short for "subcutaneous," or "just beneath the skin." The fastest that insulin would work is 30 minutes, and I know this because my Humalog is the fastest insulin out there, starting its work in that time frame. Last, but certainly not least, INSULIN HAS NOTHING TO DO DIRECTLY WITH ONE'S HEART RATE OR POTASSIUM LEVEL! I know a lack of insulin or too much may have gradual effects on these things...but to order it to slow a man's heart rate and/or lower his potassium level? They might as well have shouted, "Slap his left butt cheek! Stat!"

You can tell how upset I am over this gaff by the fact that I now have three paragraphs dedicated to it. "How upset was Cody?" you may wonder. His response says it all. "It's a TV show." (*sniff* And just when I thought he cared about my world.)

* * *

Speaking of caring about my world, Becky is home, safe and sound. Her return trip took longer than her trip here, but that's because she stopped to take more breaks along the way. There was also some heavy traffic in various construction zones. It was lots of "fun" for her.

Meanwhile, I'm just glad she's safe. The insanely long drive had me just as concerned as when she was heading for me. The last thing I wanted is for her to get into a serious accident, me then feeling guilty about her coming to see me at all, and then have to face her family when they all came to KS to kill me for that very reason. Thankfully, we got on Skype, and I was treated to the view of her to which I'm most accustomed. She sat in her room, attempting to caress my cheek through the screen...and I reminded her that she can now at least remember what that felt like, instead of trying to imagine it.

We didn't discuss anything too serious. It had been a long trip and we were both tired. (Worrying full-time can be exhausting.) She didn't want to say good night, but I pushed her to log off. Shutting down Skype didn't mean I was shutting down our relationship.

At the mention of "shutting down," my meds are kicking in, demanding I get some sleep. I'm sure there will be more in the immediate future. Be well, all.

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