So, Becky and I have now started babbling regularly about the plans for her to come to Kansas. This is a concern, and that's a concern, and we're nervous about meeting...But most of all, we're happily excited about finally meeting face-to-face. The idea gets us staring at one another with goofy grins. Hence, I have started calling us that we're two happy idiots.
Amidst our plans, there has been ongoing questions about my medical care. Becky has all but yelled at me about my willingness to postpone some of my care for her visit. Today, I made it clearer as to where my mind is.
I went to see the surgeon about my elbows today. Before I got to see him, he aparently decided I needed x-rays. MORE X-RAYS! Yeesh! With all of the x-rays I've had in the last 10 years, I'm surprised I don't glow in the dark. I joked with the two x-ray techs that if comic book lore holds true, all of this exposure to radiation should give me superpowers. And once those were done, the doc came in and examined both of my arms.
There is a bit of a conflict between the results of the EMG I had last month and the exam today. The EMG shows that my left arm is in worse shape than the right. The surgeon, however, seems to think my right arm is worse than the left. Ignoring this conflict, the fact remains that I do, indeed, need surgery on BOTH arms. He asked which I wanted to work on first, and I told him the left. While I'm not in actual pain, it's the left arm that experiences more uncomfortable sensations. He smiled and said that's fine, which led me to ask when this could all happen. He said they only do surgery on Fridays, and that we could probably do it next week. I was then asking if it could wait until the first weekend in June. (Checking a calander, however, it looks like the last Friday in May will work, too.) His curious look had me off to the races, explaining to yet another stranger how I met this wonderful woman via the internet, and that we were meeting one another next week. And I think what makes people happy for me is the stupid grin I get on my face whenever I start talking about Becky.
Oh...Wait. You're probably wondering who "Becky" is, right? Probably thinking I'm a shameless male whore that's meeting two women next week, right? Nah. You're all smart folk. You know Becky and Neko are one and the same. =)
My willingness to postpone the actual surgery doesn't mean I'm putting off the entire process. I was told I needed to set up a "nurse appointment." I believe they have a general practitioner working in the same office, and he approves various patients for surgery. So I'm to come in and have blood work done, a general exam, and all that good stuff.
But next week is promising to be a bit crazy. I have to go on my monthly "drug hunt" next Monday. Tuesday is followup on my wound care. Wednesday is the day I start losing my mind over the fact Becky will be getting into the car that afternoon to begin her trip. Thursday, she will still be on the road, hopefully arriving by that very evening. I imagine that trying to take my blood pressure on either of those days will have results that are frighteningly high due to worry and stress. And Friday...well, that's our first full day together, and I'm not interrupting it with a doctor's visit.
Still, I wasn't going to ignore my need to get things done. I set up an appointment for the following Monday. Yes, Becky will still be here, but I refuse to ignore my care completely. Beside, she will leave late in the weekend that follows that, and then I will be able to pursue my care without distraction. That likely means I'll have the first surgery that week, so...get things done properly. Right?
Mind you, if there was a sense of urgency behind the surgery, all of my explanations would be thrown out the window. "Do this or suffer the consequences!" That kind of statement would have me busting my disabled butt to move on it. However, when the doc politely asks, "Which are would you like to do first?"...well, that definitely gives a sense that it's not an emergency of any kind.
Meanwhile, I'm talking about Becky to anyone with a set of ears. I called my Dad to let him know about her, and my Mom answered the phone first. I made my happy report, to which she worriedly asked, "How old is she?" I told her Becky was 24, and Mom asked, "Are you sure? Remember the last time you had one of these internet things, and she turned out to be too young?" Oh, how I remember that travesty! But I assured Mom that Becky was legal, and then reported Becky's pending visit to my Dad. Shock of shocks, Dad didn't ask when he would have more grandchildren from his sons.
Today, while driving me to my appointment, I was babbling at Ray about Becky. He mentioned that he'd caught up with my blog last night, paused a moment, and then exclaimed, "Y'know, Dan sounds like an IDIOT!" He briefly repeated the experience he'd had about allowing a woman he cared about the freedom to date others, how he'd lost her, and eventually healed from the upset when she did exactly as he had suggested. Later, after he picked me up from the doc's, he said he had a question, and told me that if he was prying that I should tell him it's none of his business...but he wanted to know how Dan had terrified Becky. It took just a few words before Ray realized he'd forgotten where I said that Dan's message was "calm anger." The kind where someone is probably shaking with rage, sounding like they could kill without CARING about the consequences. THAT'S what had terrified Becky.
That's where my mind is, folks. My sweet, beautiful Becky has thoroughly invaded my mind, tainting every thought. Honestly, there isn't a single thought that doesn't go by without my contemplating how my decision now affects more than myself. And it would seem that it's a good thing that my mind is moving in that direction, because Becky managed to sneak a question in about whether or not I'd be willing to make a promise to be hers forever. I dodged that one by telling her that that might actually be crossing the line of us moving too fast, since I can't make too many solid commitments due to my health being semi-unstable. But, yeah...Don't be shocked if Becky alters the course of my life forever in one way or another. Because right now my mind is scrambling to figure out how I can move to where Becky lives so we can start officially working on "happily ever after." =)