Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Would you like a bigger shovel?

Ahhh...This Dan character...I like him. I like him a great deal. And the reason I like him is that he just keeps making me look better and better with each passing moment. Soon I will be able to beat up Girl Scouts and kick puppies, and Neko will still think I'm the better of the two men interested in her.

Last...November, I think...? (She'll likely correct me if I'm wrong.) Anyway, Neko was engaged up until that point. There were numerous issues with that relationship, however, with one of them being that her fiance never actually actually asked her to marry him; it was simply assumed they were engaged because of various other things he'd said. The really, REALLY big problem was that he was oppressive. Neko was eventually afraid to say or do anything for fear that he would throw a fit. It's as though she was never permitted to feel good about herself.

For example, there was a day when she brought a stray kitten home from work. She knew she couldn't keep it, even though she was sorely tempted. She also knew her fiance would be mad because she had gotten all sappy and brought a stray home. However, being the gentle, caring person that she is, she couldn't just leave the poor animal to freeze. It's not her nature. So she brought it home, he flipped out, and she was forced to keep the kitten trapped in the bathroom for a time. It didn't like being alone like that, so it mewled, annoying Neko's fiance further. She tried to spend time with the kitten, which made it content and silent, but she couldn't spend the entire night babysitting it in the enclosed bathroom. In the end, she relented and took the kitten back to where she found it...and felt miserable for feeling forced to do so. He wasn't even patient enough to wait until the next morning, when she could bring the poor beast to the nearest no-kill shelter.

Since I've been tempted to bring home stray humans because I felt bad they were homeless, I can't even imagine myself lecturing Neko if had she done that to me. There would have been talks about keeping it, the realization that that couldn't happen, and then we would likely go TOGETHER to drop it off at the shelter.

Enter Dan, who knows what Neko's previous relationship was like. When they reconnected many months ago, he spent a lot of time selling himself as the guy who cared. He wasn't like the other guys she's been with. He was going to be easy-going. ("Date another guy if you find someone you're interested in.") He was going to be open. ("This is how I really feel.") He was going to be honest. ("No, I'm not expecting anything when you come to visit.") He was going to be...Mr. Wonderful. (Please not that in the last two days, the claims of being easy-going, open, and honest have ALL been contradicted.)

Uh huh.

News of my having such a powerful place in Neko's life has his disguise slipping faster than he can tape the mask back in place. The guy who'd said she could pursue other men if she became interested in now clamoring, "What about me?" He's scrambling to form a possible relationship with her, and in the process he's making her regret almost everything she says and does. He's more concerned with how HE feels than the way she feels.

Just like her ex-fiance.

Me? Gods above and below, but I think I may be TOO open and honest! In a recent conversation with Neko, I revealed how fried foods and I don't necessarily get along, despite how much I enjoy them. In fact, if the Enterprise were to encounter a giant version of me in space, Captain Picard would be making a log entry about how they've encountered a dangerous gaseous anomaly. I can hear the line from Commander Data right now. "Captain, I believe the source of the anomaly's mass are those onion rings." (What...? Didn't think I could engage in crude humor now and again?)

I just don't play the "here's an ambiguous hint about my feelings" game. Not well, anyway. When I became genuinely interested in her, I said so. When I felt the desire to meet her, I said so. When I became more disturbed at her going to meet Dan, I said so.

And that's my current romantic crisis. I trust Neko, and I believe that she will go to Puerto Rico and spend time with a friend. That's it. It's a great opportunity to get out of the country and have a good time.

But I don't trust Dan. He's already spent a great deal of time advertising himself as something he's not. (See "Mr. Wonderful" above.) I fear he will do much more than simply try to woo her. My fear is that he will try to force something, despite her repeated statements that she wasn't interested in that kind of relationship. And if that happens, Neko will have no one close to her upon whom she can rely. Sure, she could go to the police...but I can almost hear them now, as they say, "Sorry, miss...But you came here from the States to meet a man you've never met in person before. We can only assume it was for a romantic tryst, and for all we know he merely insulted you and now you're trying to get back at him." Oh, I'm sure they could investigate it as a rape...but there's a part of me that's simply thankful they know how to make fire down there. (I retreat to humor when I'm upset, people. Don't be mad.) G-d forbid Neko is traumatized and tries to wash away the experience with a warm shower. Washing away evidence like that...Well, it would end up being her word against his, and she'd be alone while trying to defend her actions down there, while he would be surrounded by friends and family.

No, I don't like it one bit.

"Y'know, Rob...If she came to see you instead, she'd technically be in as much danger." Good point...if you haven't been reading this blog, that is. I'm about as dangerous as a three-legged, declawed, two-week-old kitten. What's more, I'm here in the States, close enough for any one of her friends or family to drive here and break me into tiny pieces if I tried anything.

No...I treat people the way I want to be treated. That means I treat people with caring and respect, as often as I can. Oh, I'll rant every now and again, making occasional rude remarks when I run into a spectacular bit of stupidity...but when it comes to someone I care about, like Neko...Well, I'm an even greater sop than usual.

That said, I would like to propose a toast. "To Dan, the man who can dig monumental holes with even an average shovel! May you keep digging until you've officially buried yourself!"

(For the record, I don't ever want to see my sweet Neko hurting, but if it it removes Dan from her life, then I'm all for his being an utter and complete jackass.)

* * *

On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to report on my visit to the CWCN yesterday. Once again, I seem to have pulled off a miraculous bit of healing. Things are looking really good on my left foot! I'm also down to 185 lbs. in terms of weight. (If I hit 180, I'm having a party!) And another bit of news that I failed to mention previously, but was reminded of last night...There's a test used to check a diabetic's control. It's called a hemoglobin A1c. The result most desired is between 5 and 6. My last three have had the following results, in order: 10, 9.1, 7.8. It would seem that my move to Kansas has literally made me feel better, as my diabetes control is tightening up!

And that's it, folks. I can only hope you're all as ridiculously happy as I am. And if not, the least you should do is BE WELL! =)

* * *

Edit: It's hours later, and Neko snuck a call in to me while she was at work. She's keeping an eye on a particular client during a staff meeting, which said client can't sit in on.

Neko essentially confirmed what I wrote pertaining to how Dan is making her feel. Ideally, I'll be able to carefully, calmly, and quite selfishly argue my case to have her come see me instead of going to Puerto Rico. Her vacation plans down there are non-refundable, but that's been a known fact for some time. The fact of the matter is that a trip so see me will cost her gas, and maybe - kust maybe - a few nights in a motel, as the place where I live is an utter disaster with walls so thin you could hear a mouse fart on the opposite side of the trailer.

Mmmmm...My Neko. Come to me, my sweet, and I will treat you like the goddess you are!

Oh...Did I say that out loud and on my blog? My bad! =P


Loulou said...

Uh, you need to get me Neko's ex's name and location, because on the off-chance that I ever visit the US, he's got a hot date with the end of a size-8 steel-capped boot. Hell, he might even get several dates with it; I'm easy like that.

Seriously though. I rage when I read stuff like that.

Rob Meadows said...

Now imagine watching someone else doing similar things to her, while I sit over 1,000 away and watch on my web cam as she's brought to tears by a DIFFERENT jackass. Makes me crazy that I can't hold her while he's making her feel bad for being herself.