Saturday, May 15, 2010

You should all be so lucky!

Many, many years ago, I heard a toast that started, "To our wives and lovers...," and one immediately thought that the speaker was talking romantically about the woman he married. Then he ended it, "...may they never meet."

Well, yes...I suppose having the TWO women in your life meet would be quite the disaster. However, my wife and girlfriend have met, and they seem to have hit it off wonderfully. Maybe a bit TOO wonderfully. o.O

Some of you may have forgotten, since the post was made quite some time ago, but I'm married...to a cat. When I was living in AZ, had I left the apartment for even five minutes, I'd come home and receive quite the talking to from Nike. Her constant meows made me feel as though I was being lectured. "Where have you been? Do you have any idea what time it is? And is that another cat I smell of you? Oh, you are so going to get it, mister!" Add to the lectures the fact that she would climb into bed with me every night and snuggle so much that she eventually pushed me up against the wall, and one could easily assume that somehow, some way, Nike had married me when I wasn't looking.

Enter Becky. It really wouldn't have been a big deal if Nike didn't like her. I mean, Nike's a cat. She kinda has to accept what the humans say and do, or she gets shoved out of the room. Thankfully, Nike likes Becky...and maybe a little too much.

It's easy to imagine that two long-distance lovers would meet, their clothes would manage to fly from their bodies, the "adult extracurricular activities" would begin...and never stop. Well, you can stop imagining, as I report to you that last night I taught Becky the greater complexities of playing Chess. (She's a frighteningly fast learner.) And as we're sitting on my bed, staring at the board, Nike joined us...and did with Becky what she usually does with me. That is, Nike laid down with her hind end up against a human body, her tail wagging lazily in contentment.

I was astounded. Nike has NEVER responded to another person like that. The most she might do is rib against someone else to get her scent on them. But when it came to getting comfortable, she was always a "papa's girl." Yest there she was, comfy as can be, snuggled against Becky.

"Oh, I see how it is," have said in a feigned rant. "The little turncoat has replaced me. Well, just see if I feed you now, you traitorous b****!" Becky petting her only made Nike happier, and me feel more betrayed.

For G-d's sake, the women in my life were conspiring against me!

Okay, I'm not really that upset at all. Besides, there were two things that made it clear I was still the only human for my cat. The first was the fact that Becky was practically seated on my pillows. These pillows carry my scent, so it's likely that Nike had gotten comfortable for THAT reason, and not Becky's presence. The other thing was Nike's regular response to my "I'm addressing my kitty" voice. This amused Becky quite a bit, as Nike's tail would wag just a bit more whenever I used that voice.

This morning, there was further evidence that Nike remains happily "married" to me. I didn't sleep so well last night. I got up a couple of times. During the first round, Nike kept try to get comfortable wherever I'd been sleeping. First it was where my feet had been. I moved her to the chair next to the bed, and she responded by sneaking back and lying down next to my pillows. "Oh, you're funny," I whispered, relocating her yet again. The next two rounds of wakefulness had Nike waiting until I laid beck down next to Becky, then she would cuddle next to me on top of the blanket, effectively pinning me between the two ladies in my life.

And now, while typing this post, Nike came along and leapt into my lap, and is currently trying to fall asleep. She really should know better; I can't maintain one position for hours at a time, like she can. Still, it's good to know my kitty still loves me. =)

In other news, I ache. It's a result of working muscles that haven't been used nearly as much over the last 10 years. It's all of this cuddling we've been doing. And for those unsure of how cuddling could do this, the first thing you need to do is let various muscles go lax for a few years. Then lie down on your left side, head supported by your left hand, while your right hand caresses either a real of imagined lover for over an hour. Everything should be just fine...until the next day, when you wake to find your pectoral muscles screaming at you for rest, along with your forearm that received its workout from your wrist being in motion for so long. Seriously, Becky and I briefly marveled at the fact that my right forearm is starting to take on the shape of a baseball bat, while my left is still a skinny little thing.

And, of course, I have removed Nike. I keeping looking over at my bed, where my two women are sleeping. Nike is just a content little kitty. Becky not only looks beautiful, but peaceful. It's the latter that makes me happiest. I'm so glad she's comfortable and relaxed, with most of whatever nervousness seemingly gone from her. Also apparently gone is her anger at certain idiots in her life, and frustration from work -

Which reminds me! Becky received a call yesterday morning from a coworker. Said coworker's son had an asthma attack and needed someone to cover her shift. She asked Becky if that was at all possible. "I'd love to, but I'm in Kansas." Personally, I think Becky should have asked if the coworker's shift started in two days, as that's how long it would take Becky to get back. =)

And so, my friends, we come to the end of yet another blissfully happy post. I'm not sure if you'll be getting any more of these, as Becky and I head for the motel tomorrow. Privacy at last! And that means we'll be able to play Chess without people making explosion sounds from the living room! ;-)

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