Thursday, June 17, 2010

When I was younger...,

...just a bad little kid,
My momma noticed funny things I did.
Like shooting puppies with a BB gun...
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done,
I'd find a pussy cat and bash in its head!
That's when my momma said...

What did she say?

She said, "My boy, I think some day...
You'll find a way...
To make your natural tendencies pay.

"You'll be a dentist!
You have a talent for causing things PAIN!
Son, be a dentist!
People will pay you to be inhumane.
Your temperament's wrong for priesthood.
And teaching would suit you still less.
Son, be a dentist.
You'll be a success!"

Oh...Does that have some bizarre, yet pleasant memories coursing through your head? Here...Have the whole song.

What brought this song to my head was the fact that the dentist I saw today was NOTHING like Steve Martin's character. She was a petite blonde that was exceptionally kind. So kind, in fact, that I would even recommend her in terms of care. And, really...Who recommends a dentist? No one enjoys seeing them, often doing exactly what I did: avoid it until it was absolutely necessary.

Oh...Seems something's missing from this tale. I mean, I was supposed to see the dentist yesterday, but saw her today. So you're all probably wondering what happened. It's quite simple, really. Kansas weather happened. I was preparing to leave for the dentist yesterday when it sounded like someone was throwing rocks on the roof of the trailer. A look outside revealed marble-sized hail and buckets of rain pouring down. I wasn't about to risk life and limb trying to have a tooth removed, so I rescheduled for today.

What's to say about a tooth removal? "It was fun"? I don't think so. This was, however, the first time I'd ever received a nerve block to get a tooth removed. I was accustomed to doctor's doing their bed to numb just the site of the removal, and that was it. The tiny woman who worked on me today did otherwise, which fascinated me...and almost caused me to have a heart attack.

Little factoid about injecting nerves: one wrong move and it HURTS! The doc was injecting the nerve to block the lower right quadrant of my mouth, when she hit the nerve sheath. This caused a tingling, fiery pain to shoot through my lower lip, and made me cry out in unexpected pain. Mind you, I was expecting pain, as she was shoving a needle into my mouth. What I wasn't expecting was the intense pain associated with being slightly off target.

From there, I was astounded by the difference between this tooth pull and my last. The last time was a kind of "comedy of nightmares," as the idiot dentist clamped the tooth and began pulling outward. He couldn't get proper leverage to pull the tooth, and was sweating with the effort. But the mini-dentist today was able to clamp onto the tooth, wrangle it back and forth a bit, and then pull that sucker free without straining a muscle. And to say this tooth was worse than the last, thereby giving the first dentist an excuse, wouldn't be accurate. If anything, this tooth still had strong roots; it was the body of the tooth that was at issue here, while the first dentist had weakened roots with which to contend.

I think the difference is that the doc I saw today just knew what she was doing.

With this brief report being given, I'm off to relax, praying for a return of muscle control to my lips so I can drink without dribbling, but also praying that it remains numb where the tooth was removed. I doubt I'll get both, but one can hope.

Be well, all.

Oh...By the way, I forgot to report that the overall cost of today's adventure was $70.00. I have no idea how that worked out, but I won't complain. The minimal cost before going in was $95, but I saved $25. I'll take it!

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