Sunday, July 18, 2010

Happily terrified

Every now and again, amidst silly conversations or those that overflow with mush, Becky and I discuss the serious stuff. Like how and when we'll see one another face-to-face next. Long distance relationships have the infrequency of physical contact going against them, and usually also lack vocal and visual contact. Skype has eliminated those last two. But physical contact...? That's the hurdle we're constantly trying to leap. And cuddling with computer screen doesn't work; too many sharp corners to even attempt hugging.

Visit #1: Becky's best friend is getting married, and I've been invited by extension. It would be nice if I could be selfish and whisk Becky away from all of her obligations as maid of honor, but that would be unkind on numerous levels. I'll have some time with her and be grateful for that.

Visit #2: Since I'm not attached to anyone or anything here in KS, I figured I'll pack another bag and head for PA during the X-mas season. This will be a MUCH less expensive trip, as Becky will have an apartment of her own by then. (She'll be starting college in January for nursing.) Aside from her work schedule, I will have her all to myself. There will also be the dreaded "meeting the future in-laws." I'll probably need constant reminders to keep my dry, rapier wit in its sheath.

Visit #3: Spring Break for Becky offers a perfect opportunity for me to roll out to PA again. If we can swing it, instead of driving to see her family again, we'll see about swinging out to Long Island to see my Dad. It's been entirely too long since I've seen him. And this time Becky will be in the hot-seat while "meeting the future in-laws."

In my eyes, this is working out quite well. I saw her in May. I'll see her again in September, December, and probably March.

And then, the true reason for being happily terrified, come May or June, once Becky is finished with her semester in school, she will drive to KS and move me to PA. There, we will begin living happily ever after. We should be engaged by long as I ask by 20 May 2011. (I checked past posts for the exact date.)

Oh, that's a fun little thing that's going on. Becky knows it's going to happen; she just has no idea WHEN it's going to happen. Her assumption is that it will happen in person, as I wouldn't even ask her to be my girlfriend over great distances. So will it happen during the wedding, the holidays, or during Spring Break? It's making her nuts, and I refuse to tell her...even though I desperately WANT to. I mean, I have few if any secrets from her, and keeping this one is kind of frustrating.

Other scary things I have to consider are establishing my medical care all over again in PA, getting myself registered with whatever qualifies as welfare out there, and adjusting to a new place where I know exactly ONE person. I think that one threw Becky a bit. I reminded her that I would have no one but her when I first arrived, and she was suddenly quiet. Of course, it's not nearly as bad as my last move to AZ, where I knew NO ONE. Personally, I think the former is a tad scarier, because if things should suddenly turn sour with the one person I know, I'd be quite stuck.

Then again, Becky and I discussed that briefly. If things don't work between her and I, we'd both be mystified. I did everything I could to chase her away before we became a couple, and she was adamant about staying. She, too, has revealed her numerous flaws, and I've refused to go. So if anything splits us apart, my guess it would be backed by divine or infernal power, as only something beyond the power of a mere human being would be able to do so.

Sure, I say that now...but it'll probably be Halle Berry that leads me astray.

I'm off to fret about the future. I do so quite often, but now that someone is becoming entwined in my future makes it that much easier. Be well, all.

1 comment:

Nefidean said...

Correction, you'll know three people! And while I don't promise I won't be a pest, cause it's a natural trait I've acquired that I can't quite control, I do plan on visiting every now and again since Becky will be all the more closer to me and she is after all my bestest friend in the whole of the world. So by default you're also stuck with Mike and me.

It's scary to think so much of this is going on for you, but we're rooting for you guys.