Friday, July 2, 2010

One more time, but with feeling

Surgery number 21 is rapidly approaching. Because of this, my brain is starting to work overtime. And it doesn't help that I've been working my way through the second Season of "House."

In the real world, I'll be going into the hospital on the morning of 7 July and hobbling out some time in the afternoon. I'll be drinking a virtual ton of fluids to get rid of the taste of the anesthetic gas, as well as sooth my sore throat after being intubated. Odds are good that I will take a nap, wake, call Becky, eat, and go back to bed. Wash, rinse, and repeat as need for the next few weeks.

But in a House-esque setting, I have the surgery, and all sorts of lights and alarms go off half way through the procedure. There's a computer graphic that shows something inside my head short-circuiting. Then, for reasons beyond anyone's understanding, I slip into a coma. The doctors on hand look completely baffled, and on the cusp of very unprofessional panic. The camera slowly closes in on my face, intubation tube still taped in place, and a little bloody dribble coming from the corner of my mouth.

Of course, I don't know what's going on. The last I knew, I was being knocked out for a relatively simple procedure on my knee. My acting skills will be tested to their limits as I simply lie there, drooling. (I sense an Emmy coming out of this one!)

Meanwhile, House is flown to KS to review my case. He makes various cracks about what Dorothy REALLY got from the Wizard. And then, without every talking to me, House is confronted by the most honest man in the world: me. His premise is "everybody lies." And he can't understand that I don't. He just doesn't get it, and assumes the worst right out the gate.

Since he's alone out here, he comes to the trailer to break in and see what I might be hiding. He discovers nothing new about me, personally. The only thing that's possibly medically relevant to my case is the fact that I live in a veritable bacteria farm. (Three guys living together without an real adult around to keep us on our toes means we only clean when the piles of trash start trying to breed.)

He's about to leave, when he can't resist the temptation to play some of the video games in the living room. (All owned by Cody and Ray.) He's having so much fun destroying a fictional city that he's busted by Ray, who comes home after visiting me at the hospital. Now Ray and House chat. (Ray is juiced that Hugh Laurie is in our G-d-forsaken dump. But it's NOT Hugh Laurie. It's HOUSE!)

It's learned that some people in my life have some...ummm..."very bad habits." House assumes I have them too. He has the hospital run a tox screen for everything. They all come back negative.

Two days into the case, with my health mysteriously deteriorating, Becky arrives. Ray called her the moment he received word I was in a coma. As she has threatened when we've spoken, she dropped everything and came running. Now she confronts House, stretching the truth a bit and stating that she wants to know what's going on with her fiance. He parries her attempts at information with his acerbic wit, eventually claiming that unless she was ACTUAL family, he can't tell her anything.

But House gets an idea. If my phone was able to bring Becky here, surely it would provide other leads. He gets a hold of my cell and calls my father. During this call, House learns my father knew nothing of my pain management. (I have yet to tell Dad I take so many powerful meds just to become functional.) "So he is a liar," claims House.

No...Withholding certain information from certain people in my life doesn't make me a liar. It makes me someone who doesn't want grief over the only choice I had when it came to managing my pain. It might be a thin line between lying and withholding facts, but I can live with the sin of omission better than I can the alteration of the truth.

Intermingled with the medical drama is more of the "everybody lies" and "people don't change." House has been reciting each mantra constantly, sometimes together during a single episode. He and his staff argue about me, and the fact that I've essentially gone from an abusive bastard to a nice guy that TRIES to hold everyone in high regard. When he hears about WHY I don't lie, he puts that House-spin on it, making me seem perfectly selfish for avoiding drama. "He doesn't tell the truth because it's right. He does it just to keep himself from getting caught." And so he gets to recite another mantra: "people are selfish."

Well, he'll eventually learn that I ALSO do it because it's right.

As his team wants to blame everything I'm experiencing on diabetes, House is determined to prove it's something far more obscure. It's a race against time, as my symptoms get increasingly worse. It's yet another episode where, "If we don't find out what's wrong, and fast, he won't live to see the end of the week!"

Well, it's one of those happy endings for the show. I come out of the coma to see my sweet, beautiful Becky smiling down at me. What caused me to start slipping away was the severe symptoms of a hangnail, or some other trivial medical problem gone awry. And House moves on to another episode, where simple illnesses are exaggerated, or, in fact, "could be Lupus." (I believe they mentioned Lupus in every single episode of the first two seasons.)

In reality, I'll have my surgery on Wednesday, with everything else I mentioned at the very start of this post. Save that I was given a bunch of exercises to do in the middle of writing. (Had me a physical therapy appointment to get pre-op measurements and the like.) Strange how they practically require PT after knee surgery, but all others seem to end with, "Good luck. See you at the followup appointment."

I'm off to conquer more of Azeroth. (I got me a wealthy palAdin, only level 26 and over 600 gold. Neat!) And while I seem to have issues following my regular suggestion, I would like everyone to BE WELL. =)


Zeb The Troll said...

Azeroth, eh? So she managed to coax you away from superheros for a time, at least? I don't suppose there's any remote chance you're on Argent Dawn. (I know, there are like a hundred and seventy different servers, but I figure it couldn't hurt to ask.) 8-)

Rob Meadows said...

No, I'm on Alex...Alex...the one Becky's on. And I have four characters still sitting on Feathermoon, including a 64 paladin. I'd transfer at least that one, but at $25 per transfer, you'd think I'd at least get a free pizza, too. =P