Sunday, August 22, 2010

Dreams of avarice

Every now and again, Becky and I find ourselves with a few extra dollars. Mind you, this happens more often for her than it does for me. When we have this extra money, we “invest” in some lottery tickets. What usually follows is a session or two about us dreaming what we’d do if we were to win close to 100 million dollars. We’ve agreed to split the winnings between us, as well as the idea that if the number was high enough, we’d take the 30-year annuity. So let’s say she and I won 100 million. Split in half, divide by 30, and take out a third for taxes…What would I do with approximately 1.1 million dollars a year? Well, aside from all of the legal footwork that would have to be handled, I’d probably do some of the following…

1: Call all of the appropriate government offices and say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Really, that $800 a month from Social Security is now an embarrassment compared to what the Lottery Commission is paying me. And I certainly wouldn’t qualify for Medicaid anymore.

2: Which leads to me getting private insurance. I told Becky I would want the Blue Cross/Blue Shield Platinum Card, which provides for solid gold IV tubes and antibiotics the color of my choosing. No more searching for the ONE doctor who takes my insurance at the local clinic. My doctor will make HOUSE CALLS if that’s what I want!

3: Get a ring with REAL gems in it for my sweet, beautiful Becky. Oh, a ring will be provided, and it’s coming at an extreme discount because Kat can craft jewelry. But I would love for my beloved lady to sport genuine diamonds in her engagement ring. I know she doesn’t need them; I just want her to have them.

4: Set aside an annual amount of about $100,000. Then, every couple of months, call my Dad and ask, “What do you need?” As he lists what he and my step-mom need, I’ll make the purchases. In the short term, it might seem easier to simply send him the money, but then he would face tax issues of his own. Better that I should make the purchases and have them delivered to his home.

5: Send Stu $3,000 a year. Yeah, Stu screwed me over when it came time for me to live with someone who could look after me. If he’d accepted $250/month instead of demanding $350, he’d actually have that extra money right now. The $3,000 represents what he’d be getting from me if he’d accepted my offer. And the ONLY reason he’d be receiving that pittance is because of my nephew. If Stu didn’t have a family, he’d get nothing.

6: This one’s pure fantasy, as I’m simply not mean enough to pull it off. Locate my brother Barry, go to his home, wait for him to answer the door, then stand there and say, “I just wanted to let you know that I’ve become a multimillionaire via the Powerball, and that you will not see so much as a penny.” Then I’d turn on my heel and walk away.

7: To my current housemates, Ray and Cody, I would get each a “new” used car. “Guys, I have $10,000 set aside for each of you. Go pick a vehicle to your liking and let me know. I’ll pay for it in full. After that, it’s up to you to insure it and the like.” I would also probably buy a few extras with any money left over. I don’t think the guys would go berserk with my offer, so there should actually be a few thousand dollars still set aside. I’d probably help them do a few things with the trailer to make it worth more than it is now, allowing them to sell it for a far more reasonable price than the rock-bottom dollar value.

Really, my offer to the guys would be due to the fact that they’re (almost) good to me. Sure, Cody has too much fun scaring the daylights out of me from time to time. But they’ve looked after me, making sure I’m not struggling physically or financially. Mentally…? Well, I’ll ignore that stuff.

8: Move to within touching range of Becky. Being apart is driving us insane. Once I’ve got my first check and we’re set financially, it would be time to get myself to PA to be with my lady. Being unable to hold and kiss her has become increasingly maddening. That, and…

There was a moment during her visit in which she sat on the bed, engaged in a book, while I sat at her computer to write up “our story.” (See those entries labeled “Man of my dreams” on her blog for details.) She would occasionally look up to see me typing away. She would smile, knowing that the dreams she’d been having were, in fact, a reality. In turn, I would look over my shoulder and realize that I’d truly won the affection of a beautiful woman. We were both very comforted by that fact. So the sooner we’re together, the better.

9: Get married. We're holding off on that because a wedding would be a complication amidst her school. We both want her concentrating on one thing at a time, and that which leads up to a marriage ceremony can be too distracting. That even accounting for the fact that she and I are currently planning on eloping. (The stress of Kat's wedding, and the fact that Becky's made all four of the dresses for the bridal party, has been making her insane. So if my baby wants to elope..."What baby wants, baby gets.")

10: Each year, set aside $50,000 in a trust fund for future children. Becky plans of doing the same, and if we have two kids, that'll be a large chunk of change awaiting them for their 18th birthdays. We are, of course, assuming that we'll instill decent values in our kids so that they don;t receive a million dollars and run off to buy a solid cold car. Go to school, spend wisely, and still have plenty left over to start their lives after college. (And if they don't go to college, and become very successful brick-layers, that's okay too, as long as they're happy.)

11: Do good deeds. I still have it in my head to do a number of things, like support a soup kitchen for a year's worth of food. The one I have specifically in mind would cost me $11,700 for a year, and that was at the last time I asked how much it cost to sponsor a meal. I would help anyone whom I took note was struggling to eat. Like being at a supermarket and noting a mother with three kids who's buying the bare essentials. I would ask if that's all she could afford, and if it was, I'd escort her back into the store to REALLY shop for food. Or when I see a homeless person, offer to buy them a meal. (I hand over cash to no one. Too easy for them to run off and buy something detrimental to their health.)

And there's a scene I wrote for my screenplay, Housebroken. In it, the very wealthy leading lady walks into a mall during the holidays, approaches one of those trees with tags upon which are written the wishes of underprivileged kids, and takes down ALL of the tags to buy what the kids want/need. I would sincerely like to be able to do that annually.

12: Becky and I were talking last night, and we'd like a ranch-style house. Ultimately, we could probably have one built. She and I would like five bedrooms, three of which will be occupied by people regularly. The fourth would be converted into an office for her and I to handle whatever it is we'd need an office for. The fifth would become a guest room. But all of that would wait until we're ready to grow roots and settle down in one place.

13: Pay back to those who've helped me over the years. It's one thing to help someone out with a few dollars every now and again. It's another thing to help someone LIVE. That's what so many have done for me. I repay my debts whenever I can, and until I'm sitting on a fortune, I don't think it'll happen. But if it should, there are a lot of people upon whom I'd bestow the gift of a few thousand dollars. Nicole, Bea, Igor, Jessie, Adam, and Julie, just to name a few. Oh, I can hear the arguments now...

Me: I need your address.
Person: Why?
Me: So I can send you a present.
Person: I don't need a present from you, Rob.
Me: Oh, come on. Everyone could use $2,000.
Person: You want to send WHAT?!?
Me: I want to send you $2,000. Now give me your address.
Person: There's no way I'm letting you send me that money.
Me: Fine. I'll hire a detective to find you and then send it to you.
Person: I won't cash the check.
Me: Fine. I'll send cash in a secure package.
Person: Arrrrgh!

We should all be so lucky as to have that argument, right?

Finally, there are the luxuries in life. Becky and I could probably make a long list of all the "toys" we'd want to buy, but we also have every intention of keeping a careful eye on what's being spent and how much is left to get us through the year. We'll have all the requisite professionals on retainer, including a lawyer and an accountant. (Although Becky is a mean bookkeeper.) All in all, we would like to live VERY comfortably, and we fully support those dreams.

So...If anyone would like to share, tell me your dreams of avarice in your comments. Or pray I win that money, because I'm pretty sure a lot of my followers are on the list of people who would receive gifts from me. =)

* * *
I was talking to Becky throughout much of her day, yesterday, while she toiled away at sewing dresses. A lot of our conversation, which totaled somewhere around 10 hours on Skype, was mostly nonsense and babbling. About an hour before we said goodnight, we went into semi-serious mode, in which we did our "daily gushing" over one another. I told her how proud I was of her for making four fairly complicated dresses for her best friend's wedding. Becky responded with a surprised, "You are?" Although my compliment may have stunned her, it didn't stop her from smiling happily.

This is one of those things that makes me different from a lot of people in her life, and kind of upsets me. Becky will bust her butt to get things done, whatever the task may be, and she receives few if any compliments. I, myself, am indirectly involved in the wedding. I'll be a guest, and I've had to listen to my lady groan whenever there's been seamstress issues. "Where's the zipper? Where are the pieces that go on the thing? It's a cape, not a veil. Kat, hold still! Or would you rather be pinned to the dress?" Becky's patience has been worn so thin that it would be threadbare if it was a rug.

Well, baby...Here it is in writing. I'm SO proud of you! You may have been through a lot to make those dresses, but the payoff is only just over a month away. Your persistence in getting the job done, and getting it done right, is just one more reason for me to love you. =)

1 comment:

Zeb The Troll said...

It's funny you should mention it. I often daydream of what I'd do if I won a significant sum of money. Much like you, the top of my list is helping out those I love where I can. I'd pay off mortgages of both mine and Alarra's parents. I'd help take care of their medical bills (both couples are hardworking people who haven't been able to afford health care on their own but are just above the line to get any useful help from the government).

I'd buy us a house. A nice house in a place where we'd like to live instead of where we need to live for our livelihood. I'm pretty sure I'd even invest in a business of some kind with some people who deserve to spend their days doing what they love instead of merely working to live.

And if we're talking HUGE money, I mean like Bill Gates money, I'm buying an assload of land and building a Playgrounder commune.