In yesterday's post, I finished with a compliment to Becky and made a complaint that I don't believe she's been complimented enough. I said this with the intent of Becky seeing it, since I tend to point it out to her whenever I've made a new post. I also know Kat reads my blog, and I was hoping to some extent that this would squeeze an extra compliment for Becky.
However, what I didn't expect was guilt, which is what I think I got. I think Kat read my post, became filled with guilt, and vented to people other than Becky and myself. Why do I say that? Because yesterday evening, Becky received a text from Kat with a heartfelt thanks about the dresses, and then ANOTHER text, but from Kat's mother, also thanking her for the same reason. It's my idea that Kat mentioned my post, or the aspects thereof, to her mother, who was compelled by Kat or felt the need on her own to also make a compliment.
Becky, however, reports that Kat has occasionally said like she feels as though she's not going much to put together the wedding. She sees my lovely lady toiling away to stitch the dresses together and feels somewhat useless. Well, it's my understanding that Kat CAN'T sew. Kat doesn't use sewing machines; they use her.
But that doesn't mean that this bride-to-be is utterly useless. On the contrary, and I'm not sure if I've said this to Kat, I think it's a wonderful thing that she's been assembling her own wedding, personally CREATING the entire affair. This is not an event that will be professionally done at a catering hall. It's going to be inside a church social hall, with all decorations and the like put together by the bride herself. Instead of seeking a professional wedding coordinator, Kat has taken on the task herself, which is no easy feat. Normally, a would-be bride stresses over the fact that someone else is (or isn't) handling the details. Kat is handling them all herself, which I believe will make this upcoming wedding day much more special.
No...What crossed my mind when I mentioned that Becky lacked compliments was the short list of ex-boyfriends she has. I don't understand how it is that I, and only I, have managed to make Becky FEEL beautiful. How is it that there are men in her past who haven't done the same? I have the feeling that all of them thought, Wow...a woman with a great pair of...assets. It's play time! How does a guy get away with thinking like that and then claim to love a woman?
Is it possible that even in my most impure thoughts that I'm pure of thought?
I'll share something with you, much to Becky's dismay, and I hope she'll forgive me. Her home doesn't have central air conditioning, and she sleeps in a second floor bedroom. That room gets HOT! In an effort to be comfortable, Becky will change into clothing that is lighter and more formfitting, exposing a great deal of skin in the process. (In other words, not naked, but tantalizingly close.)
This might make it seem as though it's a great time for a pornographic moment, but it doesn't work like that in my head. Instead, I find myself admiring her, much as an art connoisseur will admire a classical painting or statue. The first two images that pop into my mind, (as I'm not sharing any further detailed images with you... =P ), are Venus de Milo and the sketching of Kate Winslet from "Titanic." Moreso the latter, because Becky will lie there with an arm reaching behind her head, just as Kate did, and...Ugh! It's so hard to properly describe! I find myself staring at the lines of her body, admiring the human female form in general, and how lovely I find her specifically. Stretched out like that, Becky's body forms a classic hourglass, and it's a wonder for me to behold.
Pulling my eyes away from her shapely design, I often find myself gazing at her stunning green eyes. They have an almost mystic ability to shift in color, becoming bluer or greener, depending on her surroundings. And given the proper lighting, they're so bright! Making her eyes more exquisite are those moments when her love for me is reflected in them. Oh, how I melt so easily!
And her lips...As my eyes lock onto her lips, I find myself transported to another time, another place, when I was able to show my affection for her by kissing them. Be they tender, playful, or passionate, Becky's kisses are a marvel.
Setting aside the physical, another compliment I often give her is her innate ability to handle money so well. I'm TERRIBLE when it comes to handling my finances, and I have told Becky that I'm so thankful to have found someone who'll ensure we're not starving. Oh, I have plenty of good ideas as to how money should be spent from time to time. But given any significant sum and I'll spend it all on things I don't need. Becky will be the financial brains of our particular operation.
Smiling and laughing...These are two things Becky does very well, and for a clown like me, she makes for the perfect private audience. A guaranteed subject to get her going is how NOT to rear children. ("Wait...so you're saying that whiskey in a baby's bottle is a BAD way to put them to sleep?") And then there's the imagined phone calls from school, as one principal or another will want to have a word with me about my child's behavior...only to end up wanting to talk to Becky about her husband's behavior.
Of course I know better, but it's fun to make the jokes.
And I'm not alone when making my wise cracks. I think she's actually looking forward to the day when she can whack me upside the head for one thing or another that I taught the kids.
But I still don't get it. How does a guy date her for five years and not make her feel good in any way? Shawn, he last ex-idiot, didn't make her feel good physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. And yet he claimed to love her? Becky, not knowing there was anything better out there, was resigned to a life with him.
She knows better now. She knows MUCH better. I deem it a high compliment when she says, "If anything were to happen between us and we don't end up together, at least I know what I should be looking for." That means that should there be another guy in her future, for whatever reason, he's going to have to compare to me, and I'm apparently a tough act to follow.
These are not just things Becky deserves, but something we ALL deserve. So long as the compliment is true, I think it should be made. Wat's more, it should be made without ulterior motive. There's nothing wrong with approaching a woman, telling her she's the most beautiful woman you've seen all day. Don't stand there and hope for a phone number; just make the compliment ad be on your way. Don't tell a guy he's nice and then wait for the opportunity to ask him for something. Tell him he's a nice guy and let it drop. Say "please" and "thank you" to let someone know their efforts appreciated.
In short, we should all learn how to play nice with all the other kids on the block.
So, Kat...If you were guilted into making the compliment, that wasn't my intent. My mind was elsewhere. What I was doing was making her feel more appreciated, especially after spending years with one jerk or another.
And to the rest of you...Play nice, and be well. =)