Sunday, September 5, 2010

Bracing myself

It's now less than two weeks until I see Becky, and then the adventure will REALLY begin. We'll be engaged in wedding stuff, including a wedding. And then it's off to Long Island, where we'll visit my father and step-mom...and that's what I'm bracing myself for. In fact, I started preparing Becky last night.

Mom and Dad will be very pleasant when they meet her. Unlike my biological mother, who has great capacity to be rude right out of the gate, they'll behave themselves. The visit will end with them claiming that it was nice to see me, and a pleasure meeting Becky. They'll also ask for a phone call once we're done driving back to PA.

It's during that phone call when I'll be hit with the questions. Dad doesn't see me as a "real man" because I'm unemployable. He'll want to know how I intend to be a husband and father when I can barely care for myself. There may even be a declaration that the relationship won't last. All in all, Dad will critique my relationship with Becky, bringing storm clouds over my dreams.

Well, he's in for a bit of a shock. I refuse to let the idea of him coming down on this relationship drive me to depression. Oh, I'll suffer stress over it. Dad does the whole guilt thing very well. But I plan on telling him that Becky and I are planning EVERYTHING in advance. When we'll get married...when we'll have kids...when we'll consider buying a house...and even some of the details in those ideas.

Of course, life is what happens while you're making other plans. I live by that. There's no way to prepare for every little thing that may come our way. However, no matter what the obstacle, Becky and I are planning to face it TOGETHER. And I think that's where a lot of couples' relationships go astray. One or both decides they can handle a particular crisis alone, eventually becomes overwhelmed, and that's the beginning of the end. Stress drives a wedge between them, and the arguments become fights. Very hurtful things are said, and sometimes terrible acts are committed. I've seen it happen. I've experienced it. And I will do my level best to avoid going down that road with Becky.

Besides...compared to my brothers, I'm living a dream. As far as I know, Barry still has no one in his life who will tolerate his chauvinism and bigotry. Stu...Oh, I love this one. Stu was in touch with his wife via e-mail and the like for two months before they met. When they finally DID meet, they were married a week later. It was very much a marriage of convenience, as Stu was lonely and she wanted to become an American citizen. The kid they had was more long the lines of paperwork. They could then argue with immigration, "Would you really separate a child from its mother?" It's why I believe my nephew doesn't know what love is either. I mean, thus far, he's had more interaction with a television set than his parents.

No...Dad will either accept the fact that I'm happy, or I will happily point out certain realities to him. I won't be cruel, but I won't hold back on the truth, either. I'm the only one of his kids who has heart. And I'm the only one who is doing anything for the sake of love.

1 comment:

Nefidean said...

I'm starting to believe Fathers of this generations are jerks. Some of my friends are having daddy issues and My self included. Kuddos for you if you can give a quick swift kick in the butt :3 Good luck with all that.