Friday, September 24, 2010

My plotting revealed at last!

The issue with Becky reading my blog regularly is that I was unable to talk about the big plans for Kat's wedding. But now that we are back at the motel after said wedding, I can finally tell the world what was planned, and how it played out.

Way back in May, when Becky was essentially meeting me for the first time, we were already discussing marriage. We'd hit it off so well online...then on the phone...and finally in person, that it seemed marriage was inevitable for her and I. And so it was that she and I were talking with Kat, who makes jewelry (and hopes to make a living at it eventually). The discussion at that time was what Becky would like in an engagement ring. It was fairly simple. Becky didn't like gold; she wanted silver. Real gems weren't an issue; she'd be happy with an artificial diamond, and actually disliked real rubies, since they didn't appear dark enough to her eyes. So the final result was a silver band that held a central "diamond" with a ruby on each side. Then, after ordering Becky to keep music in her ears so she wouldn't hear, I started plotting with Kat to assemble the ring. My lady-love had no idea that she was actively designing her engagement ring.

But when to ask her to marry me? I knew I was going to ask her. I knew I could have the ring assembled at any time. But when, exactly? And how?

Back then, there was talk of me traveling to see Becky at the time of Kat's wedding. The issue there was that I had a couple of surgeries standing in the way. Would I be well enough to travel? Well, that was easily fixed. The surgeries weren't urgent, so I could schedule them around other events.

As the time passed, I was more and more sure of when I would ask, but the how still escaped me. Yes, I'd be seeing Becky and attending the wedding. And in private chats with Kat, we flirted with the idea that I'd wait for the bouquet to be thrown, then ask Becky to marry me. Alas, that would depend on Becky actually catching the bouquet. If she didn't, it wouldn't be what I like to call "a movie moment."

Have you ever had those? "A movie moment" is that which is so perfect that you feel as though it was professionally written, and that cameras just HAD TO BE on you at that moment. You can even pick out a piece of music to fit the moment. If it was captured on film, it would fit into a major motion picture perfectly. I've had a few of them, and I wanted my asking Becky to be one such moment.

It occurred to me that I could make a toast to the bride and groom as a way of thanking them for having me at their home during one of the busiest moments of their lives. In that way, I could make a spectacle of myself in front of a crowd and ask Becky to marry me instead of an actual toast...

...and then I found myself making a joke out of such a toast. I spoke of it on 16 September on this very blog. After speaking of it here, it was then spoken about at length around Luppy and Kat. They loved the idea of a comedic toast...but were also fully aware of exactly what was REALLY going to happen. Becky, while involved with such chats, remained blissfully unaware of my plan. But her being in on the plot to make a toast in jest simply made the actual asking even better.

Backing up a moment...At the start of last month, I sent cash to Kat. She'd order up what she needed and would assemble the ring. Once I was in PA, she'd hand it off to me when Becky was off showering or something. She sent me a picture to me at one point, but...I don't know. The size of the photo made me think something was wrong with the ring. Once I was at Kat's house, however, and she showed me the ring, I thought it was as close to perfect as could be. (I would have liked a larger "diamond," but the idea of two rubies, (mine and Becky's birth stone) united by a diamond still meant it was a great ring regardless of my nitpicking.) The night before we headed for Elmira, NY, Kat officially handed off the ring to me. (I delayed that in case there was any reason for Becky to go into my bag. I'd have hated to have Becky find the ring before it was meant to be revealed.

With the bride and groom in on my plan, it soon started spreading around. I didn't know this, but swiftly found out once we arrived in NY. Kat's mom had spoken with the wedding photographer to ensure the moment was caught. It was also spread to a videographer so he could capture the moment in motion. And because these things were discussed in front of so many others...well, it seemed that EVERYONE knew about my plan to become engaged EXCEPT Becky.

In fact, after the ceremony, I found out about the videographer's knowledge of the approaching moment by accident. You see, I'd been placed at the head table because all the people I knew were going to be seated there. It was done as a kindness to me. While I waited for the wedding party to come to the reception hall, a woman started talking to me. I must be a person of interest, sitting at the head table, right? And so it was that I started explaining how it was that I ended up with my seat, and she suddenly connected who I was with that which her husband was expected to capture. They were immediately excited for what I was going to do.

Ah, but that moment came at me a lot faster than I expected. I thought I had time. But before we started eating, word was given that everyone at the head table was going to make their toasts, and then we would commence with the great feeding of the masses. Thus, Becky made a toast. She'd been dodging the idea of working on a toast for some time, but it seemed to come to her during the ceremony. Then a guy in the wedding party made his toast. And suddenly it was my turn.

Becky, thinking she had to be next to me to start smacking me in the back of the head, came around everyone to get in position. Becky was smiling, prepared for a funny moment. And I stammered something like, "There are some who think that I would steal the thunder of the bride and groom with my joke toast, but then...Well, I guess it's not a joke, is it?" My hand came out of my pocket, I fumbled with the ring box a moment, opened it, and finally looked at Becky. Her hands were covering her face and she was starting to cry. I was too pumped with adrenaline to feel any discomfort, so I hit one knee and said loudly, "Rebecca [last name], will you marry me?"

It was a movie moment, all right. She was shaking and crying as she said, "Yes!"

And then I was holding her, kissing her, and telling her she could stop shaking. She told me that that was an impossibility. I added, "Here, I have a ring for you." As I slipped on her finger, a worry about it not being a perfect fit evaporated, as it fit perfectly.

I'm missing some details, I'm sure. But it's been an emotional day. My blogging about it right now was a way to vent some of my excitement. I'm about to let Becky have her turn at blogging, if she can, while I take a relaxing shower. And then...Well, my fiancee and I are going to cuddle up and do our best to enjoy the cold we seem to be sharing. But that's what love is all about, right? Sharing?

Be well, all.


Zeb The Troll said...

Congratulations to the both of you!

I wish my proposal to Alarra had anywhere near the kind of panache you pulled off, though I suppose it had it's own kind of pizzazz.

Basically, once I'd decided that I was going to do it, I didn't wait. Not one moment. We were sitting together in our new home, still without any furniture other than the two couches we'd pushed together to make a makeshift bed, and I knew it was right. We were meant to be together.

I fumbled a bit for words, and I obviously didn't have a ring yet, but that was a detail I was willing to work out later. And one she was more than willing to participate in rectifying.

Congrats again!

(And remember, Baltimore is not that far away from PA!)

Rob Meadows said...

Thanks, Zeb. If you remember older posts, I was "engaged to be engaged" as of last May. But I refused to officially ask until 1: I had a ring, and 2: she and I were face to face. That I was able to make a production out of it...Well, that was simply fate falling into place rather nicely. And maybe that's what'll make this one different. I made this one a public spectacle instead of a privately whispered engagement.

Yeah...Maybe that's what went wrong in the past.

Be well! =)

WalkingTarget said...


I'm glad all of your scheming managed to work out ok. That was a pretty awesome plan. The joke-toast as an excuse for Becky to be next to you at the time was a particularly clever, I think.

Anonymous said...

Bor... that was beautiful. I'd maybe like to be as lucky as Becky someday :P

Congratulations, and the best of luck to you both.