Thursday, October 21, 2010

About the last post...

I think everyone, including myself, can relax. Becky did some research yesterday and it would seem that co-ed living arrangements are entirely up to the landlord. The person who fed Becky that load of malarkey probably has issues with couples "living in sin." I think it's time that person got with the times. I don't think many couples wait until the wedding day to move in together. It's far better to move in and see one another in a more "natural habitat" than finding out all kinds of potentially nightmarish things AFTER the marriage.

It's surprising what kind of things can alter a relationship once a couple lives under the same roof. She can endure his loud snoring. He can live with the fact that she's a terrible cook. But G-d forbid one of them leaves the toothpaste improperly closed! Oh, now we have a fight on our hands!

To get married for the sake of being together was a bit disconcerting. There's really only one reason I want to marry, and that's because I love someone. I want to marry Becky because I love her. At the same time, I don't want to have the rushed ceremony at all. I mean, we have a plan in place right now to have the small, civil ceremony, but our plans then include a gathering of our closest friends and family at a reserved room in an upscale restaurant. To rush things and then go out to eat at Wendy's with just her mom and dad would be...Well, wrong in every way.

But it does seem that an alteration to our plans is coming. Becky is having an extremely hard time finding a place to live at all. Landlords keep telling her there will be openings in December, as 6 December is the last day of the fall semester, but none can give exact dates as to when those openings will occur. It may end up being a last minute move, which makes buying bus tickets in advance somewhat difficult. (The tickets are almost double the price if you buy them at the last minute.)

This is one of the reasons Becky has been becoming so upset. She's afraid that her lack of success in finding a place will result in me not being able to visit. I promised her last night that the visits will happen, even if the dates aren't what we had planned. I can still come up while she's taking classes, but make sure I arrive and leave on the weekends, just so I don't cause a scheduling conflict. Our days won't be filled with lying around, enjoying one another's company, but we'll still have plenty of hours together. So right now, we're still hoping to spend the entire holiday season together, but may have to settle for only being able to ring in the New Year with one another. And if that doesn't work, we'll just create our own holiday to celebrate when I see her in January. =)

Then there's the March visit. By then, Becky SHOULD have a permanent place to live. Heck, if she can't find a place soon, I've already suggested that she return to her old work place and get her job back. Being employed will allow her and I to afford me visiting her in her home town, and she can start school like a traditional student next fall. The place where she worked always seemed to be looking for more people, so her return would probably be welcomed. She'll likely be able to find housing a lot easier over the summer.

Oh...and Zeb, I'd like to point out something you said. "If she needs to live for a few months without you so that she can figure out a better living arrangement that doesn't require this drastic step, it won't be the end of the world." I haven't mentioned it much, but the plan actually exists that she live alone for a while, no matter what we do. Becky has NEVER, EVER lived alone. I deem this rather important, since she's never known what it's like to be completely independent. To survive on one's own and not have to answer to anyone but a landlord...It's not like any other living arrangement. I think everyone should have a taste of that, so Becky and I wouldn't have been getting hitched until next summer, regardless.

Of course, telling that to Becky brings about a degree of disappointment for her. Becky is so blindly in love that getting married yesterday would be just fine with her. The difference in our ages allows me to add the wisdom that people just don't do that if they expect the relationship to survive. The last time I blindly fell for someone and rushed headlong toward marriage...Well, that was with Perlin. And in a way, I'm thankful she cheated on me, as she then allowed me to realize I'd fallen in lust, not in love.

Thankfully, I know I'm in love with Becky. I know this because I can see her with two different sets of eyes - the "before" and "after" eyes." Before I was in love with her, I would look at her picture and think, Oh, she's pretty. After I fell in love with her, I look at her and think, Wow, she's beautiful!

In fact, it happened last night, at random, as it usually does. We were on video chat, and my settings were okay, yet the image was still coming through a wee bit blurred. It was like looking at those women that were filmed through a gauze lens in the original Star Trek episodes. The dim lighting on her side made it look as though she was wearing eye shadow and mascara, and her lips ALWAYS have a ruby-red appearance that makes is seem like she has lipstick on. It was as though she'd made herself up just for little old me, but that was her natural appearance. No makeup was involved in any way. Not for the first time, I found myself saying softly, "G-d, you are so beautiful."

Okay...Time to snap out of the mush mode that I'm in. I'm seeing the pain specialist later this afternoon to have a nerve block done on my right foot. Will there be relief at last? Will I FINALLY be able to start weening myself off the narcotics I take daily? I will be keeping all of you posted.

Be well!

1 comment:

Zeb The Troll said...

Becky has NEVER, EVER lived alone. I deem this rather important, since she's never known what it's like to be completely independent. To survive on one's own and not have to answer to anyone but a landlord...It's not like any other living arrangement. I think everyone should have a taste of that,

Couldn't agree more, for a vast number of reasons. I see it as a vital step in attaining maturity.