...but I thought I would say a few things that have been gathering in my head all evening long. These things pertain to Thanksgiving, hence being a day off. I'll probably forget a few things; I often tell people, "My memory is like a steel trap. A very old, very rusty steel trap." So here goes, in no particular order...
1: I'm thankful for my father, even though there is often a great deal of sadness that passes silently between us. He is sad for me, having become disabled so early in life, and I'm sad for him, hurting so in his twilight years. It often seems as though he doesn't understand the true meaning of the words, but I love him.
2: I'm thankful for Cody and Ray, without whom I would have nowhere to live, and no one to watch over me. There were numerous twists along the way, but they ended up being the guardians in my life. Thanks to them, I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and doctors to care for my illnesses. There may be times when things grow tense, and the living situation seems as though it's about to come undone, but thankfully we are able to rapidly diffuse such tension.
3: I'm thankful for many of those who are associated with Ray and Cody. While I am not the most social of characters, the sound of banter and laughter coming from the living room often reminds me that I have good people in my life, and not just the sound of a television in the background to PRETEND there are people around me.
4: I'm thankful for old friends demonstrating a willingness to start anew. As one of them pointed out, we were so full of anger and pent up frustrations that it's amazing we all didn't end up criminals. Time gave us the ability to heal, and healing gave us wisdom, and wisdom created changes for the better. I reconnected with quite a few people over the last few months, and I'm ultimately glad such a thing has occurred.
5: I'm thankful to my newer friends, who span the globe, reaching out every now and again to remind me that I am loved. I personally believe that without GitP and the people therein, there might well be no "Bor" to post in this blog. In a most literal sense, they saved my life. I wish I could somehow repay them, but what they've done is far to amazing for one man to settle such a debt.
6: Of these newer friends, I am particularly thankful this year for Zeb, who has appropriately taken me to task when my thoughts are out of alignment with the peace that should exist in the world. He reminds me of those times when my wisdom is overridden by negative emotions. Without his occasional guidance, this very blog might end up one angry rant after another.
7: I'm thankful for Nike, my crazy, affectionate kitty, who seeks me out at odd times to let me know she loves me. She, too, has literally saved my life. Oh so many times, I'd wake and refuse to face another day. But if I didn't get up, she would have no food or water. In some of my darkest moments, Nike spurred me on to deal with life when I would much rather have given up.
8: Last, but oh so far from least, I am thankful for my sweet, beautiful, beloved Becky. Before she came into my life, there was no bright future; it was a bland, gray fog that held no true happiness for me. Since March, she's gone from friend to girlfriend to fiancee. Although it will be at least three and a half years before we're wed, for the first time in ages I feel HOPEFUL. It's a terrible thing to live without hope, and Becky returned it to me. And while she teases me about having bought me a Christmas gift, I've already received something precious from her.
That's all I have for the moment. More may yet come to me, but these are the things that have been roaming my mind all evening, and it was time to set them free on this blog.
So, to whoever is reading this post, I pray that you will be well and remain well. And have a Happy Thanksgiving. =)