Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
I have been doing my best to stay clean under the circumstances. I shave. I wash my hair. I use antibacterial wipes to kill the plethora of bacteria growing on me. But in terms of truly getting clean, none of this is as good as a shower. Neither hot nor cold, I enjoy the idea of using soap and having all the "stuff" getting washed away with the flow of warm water.
Today makes it 24 days since my last shower. I think I'm overdue.
Turning back the hands of time, I can recall the second multiple nerve decompression surgery I had. This time, the doctor had worked on my right side. Due to the slow healing experienced on my left foot and leg, he decided to leave the staples in my ankle for an extra week. Instead of three, I went four weeks with staples holding my ankle closed. He then plucked them out and instructed me to wait 24 hours before showering.
I was a good boy. I didn't just hear what he said...I LISTENED! I waited just OVER 24 hours, and then FINALLY enjoyed a shower. You must understand how difficult it was at the time. I mean, I lived in Phoenix, AZ, which can be hot, dry, and windy. I would regularly be covered in desert detritus. To go 28 days without a shower had been rough, but I'd done it, was was about to be rewarded with the joys of getting truly clean!
When I was done, I was toweling off, when I realized that there was an awful lot of blood dripping from my foot. Without my glasses, I couldn't see the end of my leg very well, and the lighting in the tub wasn't all that great either. Leaving a trail of blood drops, I headed into the well-lit portion of the bathroom and saw...
...and saw that the incision along my ankle had split wide open, allowing me to see the inner workings of my foot. I was mildly fascinated and greatly nauseated. It took a great deal of willpower not to vomit on the entirely-too-open wound. I covered the wound in as much gauze as I could and hustled off to the doctor's office for him to examine it.
Well, it all worked out in the end. I mean, it healed...eventually.
But this is why I've held off on taking a shower for so long. The stitches were removed over a week ago. I was told to wait a few days before showering. But, no...I had every intention of playing it as safe as possible. I have been avoiding my residual toe soaking in water for a week beyond the doctor's recommendation of elapsed time for a shower.
Today, my friends! Today is the day it happens! I will be clean! AND THERE ARE NONE WHO CAN STOP ME! (And probably many who are saying, "It's about time!")
Edit: The results of the shower were somewhat frightening. Due to the lack of even intermittent moisture, I believe I removed a complete layer of skin-like substance during the vigorous drying process. "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew," indeed.